A 20 year marriage you fall into after earning your Master's degree from that fancy expensive university you decided to go to.
"I graduated from UCLA!"
Mom: "good luck with your student debt "
A useless napkin that is most commonly attained at a 2 year community college.
Mom: "we're out of toilet paper "
Me: "just use my associates degree "
Buy a
associates degree
mug!
A bullshit pre-employment test on a job application where you have to constantly answer "strongly agree" or "strongly disagree" to become a potential
employee.
Sarah's application included an assessment test with 60 questions asking how would she react in work related situations.
Buy a
Assessment test
mug!
The best damn legal alternative to weed or marijuana. Some people don't know about it but It's sold in the medicine ailse and you don't even need a prescription. The high is not as strong as marijuana but it has the same effects. After taking two pills you will feel mellow and calm. Your thoughts will have thoughts. You can't cry because you're so drugged out. You body will get a little warm. You will be happy for no reason. It's awesome when listening to jazz or slow music.
I use St. John's wort when I'm too broke to buy
weed.
Buy a
St. John's wort
mug!
A bundle stack of papers that cost $100 each page that you will only need to bring to class once a month.
Friend: "hey,I got my college books,when will you get yours? "
Me: "As soon as I take out a mortgage "
When a new
employee has to wait one week after they start their job to get their first
paycheck.
Which means if you need gas money to go to work , you have to borrow from people. So 90% of that first paycheck goes to the people that loaned you money.
Friend : "good luck on your new job'"
You:" thanks, by the way can I borrow $120? I need gas money to go to work and I got to put a week in the hole so I won't be able to do it this week."
Friend: "sure just pay me back when you get your first check"
You: " my first check is $127..."
Buy a
Week in the hole
mug!
When a college course only lasts for 2 months.
Me: "wow I started this course in January,it's May and i'm done already "
Professor: "that's because this is a mini session class "
