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Ascertciates

n. uh-sert-see-eyts; ə-surt-sēē-āts

A portmanteau of associates degree and certification, reflecting those who have skipped college and instead achieved certifications. Also reflects an increase in employment requirements for certifications that either replace or supplement a degree.
John: How did you get this job? Did you have the experience or did you get a CS degree?
Jane: I skipped college and got my Cisco ascertciates.

John: What degree did you need for this job?
Jane: I needed more than just my bachelors, because those assclowns in HR insisted I get my Linux ascertciates!
by Retard Yoke June 5, 2013
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Asstertaste

A shitty aftertaste one gets when drinking or eating something.
I like these monster tea lemonades but they give you bad asstertaste.
by TTDRIVER382 August 21, 2016
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assesty

Alternative to "honesty", with the additional meaning that it's even worth shit, which is not the case with most types of postings on te internet, no less (sometimes especially) upvoted ones.
In full assesty, I'd suggest you to shut the fuck up, or at least try to bother other asses who like it desperately.
by felixh June 6, 2017
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assorted alcohol

A variety of alcohol which one would bring to a party
Female:What do you consider "assorted alcohol"? Lol

Experienced Male: A good variety of alcohol one would bring to a party. Like your brothers 18th birthday party.
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ASSortment

Refers to the variety of female posterior-types that a majority of horny studs like to have access to... small tight firm round derrieres for spanking and lap-sitting, large floppy jiggly heinies for deeper more satisfying kneading and squeezing, flatter and more massageable buns for simple rubbing and caressing, and so on.
Some dudes choose to stick with one type of butt-cheeks for all of their squeezing/spanking/humping needs, but as for me, I prefer more of an ASSortment.
by QuacksO September 21, 2017
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asserbating

The act of purposefully making a situation worse or less desirable for others while deriving personal satisfaction.
Paul is asserbating his relationship with Jessica when he accidentally texted her nude photos of himself with her Mom.
by monothesaurus February 14, 2018
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Asser

name of an insecure, little weirdo, that lies about everything &probaby cries himself to sleep every night.
by BooBaaMayaboo August 14, 2018
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