When Jesus Wakes up

When something is bound not to happen, or will not begin for a long time.

I'm finna do my home work...... ha, when jesus wakes up.

by DanArc December 25, 2007

y'all bitches need jesus

Thy Lord is testing me; You're retarded; Stupid, ratchet; Get religious help

Bernice: Put down the Starbucks or you'll be sorry!
Basic White Girl: (drinks Starbucks and sticks tongue out at Bernice)
Bernice: (walks away, and comes back with chancla)
Basic White Girl: What are you gonna do with tha-
Bernice: (smacks Basic White Girl with chancla repeatedly)
Basic White Girl: Aaaahhhh! (drops Starbucks)
Random stripper walking by: Y'all bitches need Jesus!

by Frocoochie Q. Lottaweave June 6, 2014

Jesus beat me to sleep

When the sex is so good you knock each other out cold when finished. Generally a religious experience in which visions of god and or Jesus are known to occur.

Annica rocked my world so hard Saturday night it felt like Jesus beat me to sleep.

by pta391 July 20, 2009

Kung-fu Jesus

A Mitch = Man-Bitch

I heard you and that Kung-fu Jesus mothafucka got a problem.

by Johnny-Tsunami March 13, 2019

jesus hernandez garcia

the sexy Mexican guy in school, with an over average size penis.
Always has that loud pack in deck

He could of been a president but he really loves selling shit.

Were the bud at Jesus Hernandez Garcia
How's got a big d Jesus Hernandez Garcia

by M.O.B40 March 4, 2016

Lord have Jesus

Lord have Jesus is an misspelling of some other word. Its also used in comedy.

Jon : Want to see my automatic fleshlight?

Dave : Lord have Jesus.

by SIMPostor December 19, 2020

Jesus-Jim Hair

A special subset of bed-head that resembles a combination of Jesus and Jim Morrison of the Doors

Person 1: I woke up with a bad case of Jesus-Jim hair today.
Person 2: Yeah, you should get a brush or a hat or something.

by kurious1243 September 12, 2010