would Jesus microwave a burrito?

slang. Phrase is often used to confuse and torment children.

Variation 1: "why did the chicken cross the road and how do they like their eggs cooked?"

Variation 2: "if the universe is finite, then what's on the other side?"

Origin: Bored people with no life

And what are we going to do about all of these wrong number dialers?

by John Gibby January 08, 2005

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When Jesus Wakes up

When something is bound not to happen, or will not begin for a long time.

I'm finna do my home work...... ha, when jesus wakes up.

by DanArc November 25, 2007

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y'all bitches need jesus

Thy Lord is testing me; You're retarded; Stupid, ratchet; Get religious help

Bernice: Put down the Starbucks or you'll be sorry!
Basic White Girl: (drinks Starbucks and sticks tongue out at Bernice)
Bernice: (walks away, and comes back with chancla)
Basic White Girl: What are you gonna do with tha-
Bernice: (smacks Basic White Girl with chancla repeatedly)
Basic White Girl: Aaaahhhh! (drops Starbucks)
Random stripper walking by: Y'all bitches need Jesus!

by Frocoochie Q. Lottaweave June 06, 2014

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Jesus beat me to sleep

When the sex is so good you knock each other out cold when finished. Generally a religious experience in which visions of god and or Jesus are known to occur.

Annica rocked my world so hard Saturday night it felt like Jesus beat me to sleep.

by pta391 July 21, 2009

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jesus hernandez garcia

the sexy Mexican guy in school, with an over average size penis.
Always has that loud pack in deck

He could of been a president but he really loves selling shit.

Were the bud at Jesus Hernandez Garcia
How's got a big d Jesus Hernandez Garcia

by M.O.B40 November 30, 2015

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