winter penis

The phenomenon where, in colder winter months, vasoconstriction leads to an average of 30% less girth in the male genitalia. This is due to the body trying to conserve heat, thereby shutting down certain blood pathways to stay warm; the penis being one of them...

Guy 1: Polar vortex hit this week, and I swear my dick shrunk like a half inch in diameter. I don't even want to show my girlfriend...

Guy 2: Sounds like a case of Winter Penis

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 3, 2019

Aster's penis

Noone's actually seen it, but legends say it's the biggest thing in the multiverse.
See Aster

"Woah, that building's almost as big as Aster's penis!"

by Asterical March 31, 2018

uncircumcised monkey penis

A fabulous piece of machinery that is all natural and organic. It gets the name money because it has hair like a monkey's for comfort pleasure.

My friend has a nice uncircumcised monkey penis, it gave me and his girlfriend good pleasure at work yesterday.

by Mr.grittypants69 April 29, 2022

Talking out of his penis

A play on “talking out of your ass”. Similar meaning would be thinking with your “head”.

When you’re making out and he accidentally says “I love you”, but doesn’t really mean it, he just wants to get off. He’s talking out of his penis.

by Tucker21 August 25, 2022

Guess what... PENIS

a very funny joke that will have everyone laughing no matter their age.

Comedian. Hey guys guess what... PENIS
Crowd. Bursts out in laughter

by Benthegoat886 April 14, 2021

penis mightier

Celebrity Jeopardy skit from Saturday Night Live. A category entitled, "The Pen Is Mightier" is mistakenly interpreted by Sean Connery as "Penis Mightier." Connery thinks that it is an object to lengthen, or make the penis larger

Connery - Gussy it up however you will Trebeck, but does it really work?
Nicolas Cage - Wait, wait... Are you selling Penis Mightiers?

by Falklian January 26, 2004

penis cramp

when you have masturbated/released so much that you can no longer move your hand up and down your penis (can not release any seamen either)without screaming out in huge agony. Usually occurs after hentai (scientists haven't been able to explain this supernatural phenomenon).

" No more hentai for me my penis cramp is so bad i just want to cut it off and put it in a hot dog bun"

by Butt plug joey March 7, 2017