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Zohnerite

A gullible person who believes an absurd conjecture regarding the chemical properties of an inocuous and benign substance, such as water, salt, shaving cream, etc., as the result of three essential characteristics of conjecture promulgation:

1. A fundamental naiveté or outright misunderstanding of chemistry on the part of the would be Zohnerite.

2. A deliberate misrepresentation of the chemical properties of the substance in question by referring to them by their technical names, or the referencing of names of their constituents; or the pretense that some constituent of the substance has the same properties in the substance mixture as it has in its purified form.

3. The inclusion of putatively supporting examples that are clearly impossible on their face, except that their true nature is obfuscated by technical jargon, or the use of metric units.

The above second point is usually deliberately exacerbated by the creation of a website with an authoritative-sounding name which purports to be the authority on the subject, but is in reality simply a sham created by the hoaxer.
It was amazing to see how easy it was to turn Ruth into a Zohnerite regarding diet soda by merely referencing a website that claimed the methyl ester in aspertame was converted by chymotrypsin into large blood plasma levels of methanol.
by Gregg Bonner October 17, 2006
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zonger

someone who jacks off with a condom on
God that rob harney is such a zonger
by wilbur June 9, 2003
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Related Words
zonner Zoner Zonker zonger Zenner zonder zonkered Zonne zonned Zooner

zoner'd

/zone , erd/

When PLAYERUNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS decides to screw you over and make the next zone circle on the opposite side that you're on. The new cuck of a zone forces you to brave the journey to the other side while your b-hole is puckered up, hoping you don't get sniped by a Kar98 from hundreds of meters away or crash your vehicle by hitting an invisible rock, exploding on impact or sending you flipping through the air.
Let's see where the next zone is. Wow, we just got zoner'd.
by 2timechamp August 2, 2017
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ZonderHanden

Someone that masturbates with Cocaine. Normally while playing a game called Rust with smaller children.
Dude - I totally went ZonderHanden last night!
by Vivadin June 1, 2019
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Zonder

When a person/ a group of people go on a walk while high without a specific destination or place in mind but instead just for the journey.
“me and smelvin are going on a zonder”
im going to zonder with my penjamin at the park”
“this evil cart got me tweakin more than a hoe, i better go on a zonder”
by Jiggelo July 27, 2023
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Twilight Zoner

Someone who is either permanently or temporarily stuck in the twilight zone; an individual not quite in sync with reality.
Girlfriend: "Who did you have lunch with yesterday?"
Boyfriend: "Noone. Grabbed something to go while I was working."
G: "That's funny, Lisa snapped a photo of you with someone."
B: "Totally forgot that was yesterday, she was a vendor from work. We had business to discuss."
Lisa: "B is such a Twilight Zoner."
by McKrazy October 10, 2014
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zoner

League of Legends jargon that represents champion(s) who can "zone" the enemy champion(s) in a lane. This means that the zoner is too much of a threat for the opposing champion to last hit minions, thereby forcing the enemy to miss out on experience and gold.
Udyr is a strong zoner in top lane due to his tankiness and harassing potential.
by BSMIncentive March 31, 2012
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