hangover wank 

the act of masturbation to over come the ill effects of hangover.

wow, i feel like shit, why did i drink so much!? the only thing that can help me now is a hangover wank!

hangover wank by jimmykay47 November 22, 2011

wank blanket 

this is often an old shirt or towel which a frustrated bloke beats his meat on to so his milky tears of human love don't stain his favourite aunts mattress

jesus i could do with strangling the one eyed monster!! where's my wank blanket??....yes auntie i'll be down in a minute

wank blanket by POWER B May 14, 2003

depressed wank 

After experiencing a sad moment in your life and you try to cheer yourself up by having a wank but you get no pleasure out of it

My mum just died and I have been wanking for ten hours now and it doesn't even feel good, I just want to feel something. I wish I wasn't having a depressed wank

depressed wank by Dictionaryvision April 18, 2017

Wank and Tell 

An AO3 tag used in fanfics, often smut, where the author would be flattered to know the reader got off to their work.

That fic had a "Wank and Tell" tag so I left a spicy comment as soon as I washed my hands

Wank and Tell by Dethna November 14, 2021

Bollocky Wank Shite 

The flavor of artichoke and beet root soup.

I want fish and chips! This soup tastes like bollocky wank shite!

Bollocky Wank Shite by Slugger11 March 14, 2011

wank plank 

A piece of wood that you put up against your door handle to stop anyone coming in your room.

hey whats he doing with that plank of wood
i think he's gona use it to stop anybody going into his room whiles he's doing stuff, he calls it his wank plank

wank plank by dec457 April 24, 2011

Eskimo Wank 

The act of placing your hand in a freezer for an extended period of time and then proceeding to masturbate. Often used by Alex Birtwistle..

Alex: I really fancy having an eskimo wank tonight, but the freezer is broken.
*Alex cries*|

Eskimo Wank by Penthouse9 February 14, 2015