blumpkin torpedo

a variation of a blumpkin. having a woman go down on you while you are in a hot tub and dropping a turd that floats from up under you and hits her in the face like a torpedo.

Dude, I was chillaxin with Barb the other day in the hot tub, she was going down like a pro while holding her breath, but I had to drop one so bad I couldn't hold it. It hit her in the grill and she got the blumpkin torpedo.

by MorningsidePlaya January 20, 2011

flat-topped

Used to describe behaviour which is particularly petty, childish or vindictive in some way.

You spent two solid days arguing with 14 year olds on an Internet forum over the difference between mummies and zombies. How ludicrously flat-topped of you.

by Ming64 March 28, 2018

Torpedo tube

Slang for vagina, typically used by members of the USMC

"where were you born?"
"a torpedo tube"

by shithead mcpee July 27, 2020

torpe

(adj.) Being too shy to pursue amorous desires.

"I know you like that girl/boy. Why don't you ask her out? You're so torpe!"

by red0217 July 12, 2009

torpedo tits

A set of breasts that jut forward, in an inviting fashion, akin to the shape of a torpedo.

Wow, that girl has torpedo tits!

by Sean Brian Kirby June 3, 2003

Damn the Torpedoes

1. Phrase meaning to continue with the planned course of action despite known risks. Phrase quotes David Farragut, an officer in the Union navy in the Civil War. After receiving a warning about torpedoes (water mines) in the water ahead, he uttered the famous phrase.

2. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' third release.

1. Friend:"Don't go there, she's a real black widow. She wussified her last boyfriend.
Reckless young man:"Damn the Torpedoes, I'd hit that."

by scobe May 18, 2007

Firm Torpedo

The best possible bowel movement one can have. The turd comes out with minimal effort, and is shaped like a torpedo which reduces the need for straining. It has a firm consistency which means it is not soft and runny, nor is it as hard as a rock. It is the type of bowel movement in which only two wipes are necessary. One to clean off residue (even though there isn't any), and another to double check and subsequently confirm ones amazement at how cleanly the turd came out.

I recently have started a high fiber diet. As a result, I have been pooping out firm torpedoes. I have saved a boatload of money on toilet paper.

by AdmiralFerguson November 25, 2009