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Functional Stoner

A person who gets stoned with a certain amount of bud but however, he or she is still at their full capacity to do certain tasks without an issue. A functional stoner can go to work or a public place and act completely normal as if they're not stoned.
John: You seen the video where Bob Marley smokes a lot of bud and then get back in the studio?
David: Yea damn how was he able to pull that off?
John: Dude, he is a functional stoner that's why
by RaphDaGwapMan August 18, 2013
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Stoner

A stoner is a peaceful, relaxed, nice guy/gal who likes to smoke the funky 'erb! Stoners are usually seen in small groups of 3 or 4 and sometimes in pairs. They generally have slightly bloodshot eyes (or red eye) when baked, and always wear a little smile. A stoner is not to be confused with a pothead. Potheads are a lot more dependant on weed and aren't as chilled as stoners.

Stoners enjoy socialising and laughter and being with their friends. They typically wear an open shirt and a t-shirt. They often own a pair of canvas shoes, well worn in by the numerous stoner adventures the wearer has been on! Stoners generally walk slowly and are very rarely pissed off, tending to be peaceful and relaxed. They are nearly always broke and when the next paycheck comes their way, it all gets spent immediately on the herb. Stoners generally don't mind this as their money has been spent on weed and they recognise that the best things in life are free, except mary jane which is worth all their money! They are also known for frequently using words like "dude" and "bro" and are often in need of snacks like doritos and a drink of something.

Stoners will always have their closest friends but when they meet fellow stoners, even if they have never met before, it's like meeting family. Stoners have a beautiful union and truly see eachother as one global family. They all tend to have a mutual distrust and dislike of their opressors such as government and the police (or the "pigs").
*Ring Ring...Ring Ring*
Jon: "H-hello"
Cal: "Hey dude, it's Cal"
Jon: "Oh hey dude! How-how's it-how's it goin'?"
Cal: "Not bad man, what you up to stoner?"
Jon: "Come round dude, me, Steve and Jay are just smokin some bud"
Cal: "Sure man! I got an eigth and need to smoke it with someone."
Jon: "Sweet dude! (To Steve and Jay) Guys, Cal's got and eigth, he's comin round!
Steve: Is he that stoner guy you know who we had an L with the other night?
Jon: Yeah man!
Jay: Fuck yeah! He was awesome!
Jon: Come round dude
Cal: See you in 5?
Jon: Yeah, much love dude!
Cal: I'll bring my four footer
by SmokeItUp September 25, 2010
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Related Words

Sooner Born Sooner Bred

Quality of superfans of the University of Oklahoma. People who possess this quality should be born in the state of Oklahoma or born of parents or a parent that attended the University of Oklahoma, and have always been a fan of the University of Oklahoma Sooners from the time they first laid eyes it.
Sooner Born Sooner Bred and when I die I will be Sooner Dead!
by soonerborntwerp October 19, 2012
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second hand stoner

one who gets high off of the fumes of another person's blunt.
person #1: hey, do you smoke?
person #2: nope, i never have.
person #1: but i saw you high the other night!
person #2: yeah, i'm a second hand stoner.
by Alalalalalex August 6, 2007
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stoner crackers

uncooked ramen noodles crunched up with the seasoning packet mixed in
luke's chicken flavored stoner crackerz are bomb ass!!

Keg: "hey lydia want some stoner crackers"
Lydia:"yes indeedy!!"
by PPJ-M and keggy keg October 19, 2011
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stonerstition

We are all familiar with superstitions. But some pertain specifically to stoners.

Stoners and potheads alike have their worries and thoughts on bad luck, especially when it comes to white lighters. Some stoners though, brush it off and claim that it is just a dumb stonerstition.
<Stoner> Dude, you got a spark?

<Pothead> Yeah man here ya go! (hands white lighter over)

<Stoner> Oh cool tha--(wipes hands, gets up) DUDE, that's bad luck man what are you doing with a white lighter?!

<Pothead> Bullshit man, that's just a stonerstition.
by Voodoomouse May 1, 2011
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Spoonerism

Transposing the letters of two words to form new ones.

Usually done when you are talking faster than your brain can keep up with.
An unfortunate spoonerism:

The gymnasts displayed some cunning stunts.
by Lambchops December 7, 2004
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