A dissociative identity disorder which manifests itself upon making or taking a telephone call. Schizophonicizm is characterized by the presence of two or more phone personalities which are utilized to achieve a desired end result or impression in any phone conversation. Less a form of manipulation, and more characteristic of defense and coping mechanisms, Schizophonicizm is born of a 21st century society where the art of face-to-face communication has been lost and the prevalence of electronic communication has enabled the masses to communicate across great distances. The various phone personalities of a Schizophonic are primarily differentiated by voice pitch and vocabulary utilization. The only known cure for Schizophnicizm is the complete and instantaneous abandonment of telephone and cellular phone use.
Dude 1: Hey man, you got your reports done for the week?
Dude 2: Nah man screw that BS. In fact, I’m never doing another one those ever again.
Ring…ring…
Dude 2: Hello
Hot Secretary: Heeeyyy sweetie! How are ya?....Yeah so when are you going to have your weekly reports turned in?
Dude 2: Wasssup gurl! Yeah, I was just cranking those bad boys out. Anything to help the bottom line. You know me. You’ll have them in a jiff!
Hot Secretary: Thanks!
Dude 2: You know it babycakes!
click
Dude 1: Dude, WTH?
Dude 2: What?
Dude 1: You never talk like that!
Dude 2: Sorry man, that’s just my Schizophonicizm acting up.
Dude 2: Nah man screw that BS. In fact, I’m never doing another one those ever again.
Ring…ring…
Dude 2: Hello
Hot Secretary: Heeeyyy sweetie! How are ya?....Yeah so when are you going to have your weekly reports turned in?
Dude 2: Wasssup gurl! Yeah, I was just cranking those bad boys out. Anything to help the bottom line. You know me. You’ll have them in a jiff!
Hot Secretary: Thanks!
Dude 2: You know it babycakes!
click
Dude 1: Dude, WTH?
Dude 2: What?
Dude 1: You never talk like that!
Dude 2: Sorry man, that’s just my Schizophonicizm acting up.
by UrbanCodeMan July 17, 2014
Get the Schizophonicizm mug.Characterized by delusions, hallucinations, incoherent speech, and illogical thinking. Formerly called "dementia praecox" by Emil Kraeplin, and renamed "schizophrenia" in 1911 by the Swiss psychiatrist Eugen Bleuler. About 1% of the adult population in the United States is affected by schizophrenia. The DSM-IV lists three specific types of schizophrenia: disorganized, catatonic, and paranoid.
Me, my uncle, and my great uncle.
by 905060606 October 11, 2004
Get the Schizophrenia mug.Related Words
A mental disorder acquired through the combination of genetics and trauma or anguish. Characterized by a split from "normal reality." A classification in psychology for a person, of which, they know very little about. Marked indication of any person diagnosed with schizophrenia of becoming "lost" in their own brain. Possibly correlation between levels of consciousness and the barriers that exist between those levels functioning differently causing major confusing between what is actually "real" and what the mind has created, thus, allowing the subconscious and the conscious self to communicate directly, which does not happen to most people. A marked high sensitivity to electromagnetic fields and low frequency sounds and/or noise. Extreme adherence to beliefs in such things as aliens; conspiracy theory; religion and/or God; physics (oh, you mean you didn't know) Albert Einstein's son was schizophrenic; governmental eavesdropping and tracking; the supernatural; martyrdom; auras; gifts; signs and/or oracles; time travel; hallucinations; visual and/or auditory; and a higher purpose. A definite attitude of something being amiss or not right. A heightened sense of self awareness or being. Scattered creativity. A rejection of fundamental systematic and societal laws. Firm adherence to the truth being whatever you personally believe to be true. Self destructive and likely just as sane as you are.
Scenario 1
Guy #1 "E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."
Guy #2 wtf man?
Guy #1 Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from f**kin' high school."
Guy #2 whoa dude you must be schizophrenic. is that why you keep singing those Tool lyrics?
Guy #1 Shhhh don't tell anyone. It's a bad stigma and I keep hearing the word crazy by everyone who knows. I'm not insane dude. I just really like Tool and I have bad interference with electromagnetic fields in my brain.
Guy #2 What's an electromagnetic field dude?
Guy #1 Don't you know anything about physics?
Guy #2 That class is boring.
Guy #1 Yeah, because they don't teach you about the interesting parts. You have to learn those for yourself.
Guy #2 We should hang out more often dude, I like Tool too.
Scenario 2
Guy #1 I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It's why I hear and see things you don't and I have a hard time functioning in this society because my brain rejects the fundamental teachings of this societal structure.
Guy #2 Does that mean you're on medication?
Guy #1 Yes, lots of medication, but it doesn't change a damn thing about this except that I have an easier time going to school and work in a day.
Guy #2 So you still hear those voices and see those things no one else sees even though you're on med's?
Guy #1 Yeah man. They can't do sh*t all about that. They can't completely change my perception.
Guy #2 Well, maybe some day when our technology and medication is advanced enough it can help people like you.
Guy #1 I have a gift but I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.
Guy #1 "E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."
Guy #2 wtf man?
Guy #1 Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from f**kin' high school."
Guy #2 whoa dude you must be schizophrenic. is that why you keep singing those Tool lyrics?
Guy #1 Shhhh don't tell anyone. It's a bad stigma and I keep hearing the word crazy by everyone who knows. I'm not insane dude. I just really like Tool and I have bad interference with electromagnetic fields in my brain.
Guy #2 What's an electromagnetic field dude?
Guy #1 Don't you know anything about physics?
Guy #2 That class is boring.
Guy #1 Yeah, because they don't teach you about the interesting parts. You have to learn those for yourself.
Guy #2 We should hang out more often dude, I like Tool too.
Scenario 2
Guy #1 I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It's why I hear and see things you don't and I have a hard time functioning in this society because my brain rejects the fundamental teachings of this societal structure.
Guy #2 Does that mean you're on medication?
Guy #1 Yes, lots of medication, but it doesn't change a damn thing about this except that I have an easier time going to school and work in a day.
Guy #2 So you still hear those voices and see those things no one else sees even though you're on med's?
Guy #1 Yeah man. They can't do sh*t all about that. They can't completely change my perception.
Guy #2 Well, maybe some day when our technology and medication is advanced enough it can help people like you.
Guy #1 I have a gift but I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.
by Starzee Valentine March 20, 2008
Get the schizophrenia mug."Everybody loves the smell of there own brand" - Fat Bastard
Person 1- "I just farted, it smells so bad"
Person 2- "You've got Fart Schizophrenia"
Person 1- "I just farted, it smells so bad"
Person 2- "You've got Fart Schizophrenia"
by Pacmannnn January 10, 2010
Get the Fart Schizophrenia mug.An invalid psychiatric diagnostic permanent label, which once attained often needlessly dooms the labelled to intervention which is harmful, stigma, problems with employment and other issues.
Research shows those with such problems fare better with alternative interventions than is usual in the West.
Research shows those with such problems fare better with alternative interventions than is usual in the West.
John was diagnosed with Schizophrenia at 18 years of age. He was hospitalised and forcebly injected with antipsychotic medication when he became agitated. His symptoms became manageable but has lost interest in everything that was important to him before, has not worked in the five years since and does not seek work. His consultant is happy he has not relapsed.
by Jamster81 October 2, 2010
Get the Schizophrenia mug.A severe mental illness, often recurring and sometimes progressive, in which the behavior becomes withdrawn and out of character, the intellect and emotions deteriorate and hallucinations may occur.
by DiiKaBaKa January 23, 2004
Get the schizophrenia mug.Doctor! Will you tell me what is wrong with me?
Well, considering all the symptoms, we can say that this is a textbook schizophrenia.
Well, considering all the symptoms, we can say that this is a textbook schizophrenia.
by aragorn the grey May 22, 2011
Get the textbook schizophrenia mug.