Book Report

Stupid piece of shit assignment only invented to waste time and energy all under the guise of being "educational". These torture devices are usually assigned to children on vacations. Sometimes even on summer vacations in which 95% of students don't give a shit to do anyways because it has all the "educational" value as staring at paint drying on a wall for 10 hours and then writing down what you "learned" about it.

Bob: I can't wait for vacation!

Joe: Yeah man. I've been waiting so long to get out of this torture called school. Can't wait to play some Minecraft and ROBLOX togethe-

Teacher: You will be leaving with a Book Report which is due by the end of the vacation. It must have a minimum of ∞ pages. Any less than that will count as a 0.

Joe: I've changed my mind Bob how about we go yahoo off the entire empire state building together?

Bob: Yeah, that's a good idea.

by BonelessJohn February 17, 2021

mitchell report

the result of George J. Mitchell's 21-month investigation into the use of anabolic steroids and human growth hormone in Major League Baseball (MLB). The 409-page report, released on December 13, 2007, covers the history of the use of illegal performance enhancing substances by players and the effectiveness of the MLB drug testing program. Mitchell provides his recommendations regarding the handling of past illegal drug use and future prevention practices. The report names 89 Major League Baseball players who are alleged to have used steroids or drugs.

roger clemens,barry bonds,miguel tejada, gary sheffield, and andy pettite are some of the major names found in the mitchell report

by lukas gestrine January 6, 2008

Markle Weather Report

When the the weather forecast is completely different to what is actually outside.

"That was a total Markle weather report last night, they said it was going to be sunny and 80 degrees, but its raining and 60, totally Markled"

by John Tetley January 4, 2022

Reportfag

Largely related to Facebook, this individual prefers to report any material (eg pics, movies) it sees as marginally offensive rather than recognizing its intrinsic humor. The result of which is that said material is removed.

Jack: "Dude, my pic has disappeared!"
Jill: "You mean the one of you pissing on a burning lolcat?!?"
Jack: "Yeah"
Jill: "Fucking reportfags!"

by Chuci March 20, 2009

Madison Report

The show that comes on during second period at our school. Usually, the host will make fun of some sort of concept at the school. For the first episode he proved that dance was not a sport. It's a lot like the Colbert Report only the Madison Report is actually funny, look it up on youtube you'll laugh.

girl: did you see the Madison Report?
boy: no
girl: ah, it was good one

by Jessica Miller April 15, 2008

Anal report

A loud fart that can be heard by a room full of people

My oral report on vegetarians was rudely interrupted by johnny's anal report on what he ate for lunch.

by Cap'n Billy July 6, 2009

Rhode Island Traffic Report

Something so fucking predictable they could just record it and play the same tape over and over every day. It's always exactly the same, and ignores anything not within a 2-mile radius of the center of Providence.

"95 North is slow between Thurber's Avenue and the State Offices Exit, 195-westbound is backed up from Broadway to the I-95 split, 95 South is slow from Atwells Avenue to the 146-merge, 146 South you're on your brakes from Admiral Street to the 95 merge, and the 6-10 Connector is backed up to Dean Street...I'm Jim Stearns with your Wheelock Auto Rhode Island Traffic Report."

by JustAnotherGuy March 8, 2010