dole merchant

somebody who is unemployed and lives off benefits, and may not be actively seeking work

used in similar tone to describing a bin man as a "waste management consultant"

"What are you going to be when you grow older?"
- "A dole merchant, obviously"

by DSelby March 7, 2007

UD Merch

Worthless merch that you’ll forget about and not even wear or use once you get them. You could also burn your money. Plus, who the hell wants to be seen in merch for fucking Urban Dictionary? That’s like wearing merch for 4chan or Reddit. It’s a complete waste of money. Don’t buy it at all costs.

Maxwell: I just bought this UD Merch, am I cool now?
John:How the fuck is that going to make people think you’re cool? Sometimes I just don’t understand you, Maxwell.

by 1955 Cadillac Coupe Deville December 11, 2022

Roy D. Mercer

A prank phone call character created by two Tulsa, Oklahoma morning DJs. Roy's gimmick mostly consisted of getting his victims mad enough to fight by telling them a story about how they owe him money. After tormenting the person, he would let them off the hook. They have at least a dozen CDs available. Then caller ID and star 69 ruined the fun for all of us.

My name is Roy D. Mercer. You sold my wife Sharon Jean a pager that blew up right on her butt. I'm coming down to get $300 from you today for medical billls and a new pager or I'm whoopin' your ass. How big a boy are ya?

by SirJigglesAlot June 6, 2011

Excuse Merchant

Someone who at a moments notice can pull an excuse for just about anything out of their ass. This happens often when defending a sports team or the reasons someone is dating busted girl. Everyone knows the usual list of excuses and weather they say it or not they are all thinking "man what an excuse merchant".

Hey Joey, the NY Giants Suck this year.

Joey: "No they don't they would be undefeated if Eli didn't cut his face shaving in week 3"

Here we go again... What an excuse merchant.

by bt3101 November 30, 2011

Riff merchant

a person who can create and execute mind blowing guitar riffs

originally said by the prince of darkness himself Ozzy Osbourne when talking about Tony Iommi in an 1980's interview

ozzy osbourne - "..whatever I've said about Tony Iommi in the past, was a lot of anger, a lot of bitterness on both parts, but I've got to be truthful to you, he was one of the greatest all time riff merchants, I mean, he came up with some classic heavy metal riffs"

man: what track is this?, that riff is insane
man 2: it's sabbath!
man: who's the lead guitarist?
man 2: you idiot.. thats Tony Iommi, he's probably metals' best riff merchant!

by planet_telex July 14, 2012

Stephen Merchant

Ricky Gervais' brilliant comedy partner. Responsible for co-writing 'The Office' and 'Extras'. Often, this man's name is misspelled (see Steven Merchant). Common elements of his comedy include (but are not limited to) a quick, quirky, but good natured wit and endearingly self-deprecating anecdotes about his 'trouble with the ladies'.

More fun factoids:
•He is 6' 7"
•Wears thick, black frame glasses.
•Appeared in Season 2 of the Office (episode 4) as Gareth's friend 'Oggy'.
•Plays Ricky Gervais' awkward agent in the show 'Extras'.
•Has recently acquired a modest following of female admirers.

Girl #1: Did you see that piece of ass who just passed us?

Girl #2: Yeah, he's alright. I mean, he's no Stephen Merchant or nothin'.

by Terza Rima July 24, 2006

armchair mercenary

an individual, typically male, who incessantly second guesses the outcome of military battles recreated on television. Often addicted to the History Channel, has never served in the armed services, but is an active member of the NRA, an avid gun collector, yet doesn't hunt. Can be somewhat oblivious to spousal interests or needs.

Armchair mercenary: "Bla, bla, bla, then you know honey, if Brigadier General Warren's scouts hadn't found Little Round Top undefended, then Colonel Vincent wouldn't have led his brigade up the hill and set up a picket line. If General Lee's troops had just arrived there, say, just 10 minutes earlier, 20 tops, the Battle of Gettysburg would have been a Confederate victory! The rest would be history! Hey, grab me another beer, would ya?"
Wife: "You are sooo smart, snookums! You're my favorite armchair mercenary! Get your own beer, but just one! Remember? I've got to go, uh..... go and visit my sick friend again."
Armchair mercenary: "Hey, what if the Rebel snipers had had Barrett 50s with match ammo? Where'd I put the remote?

by Herr Doktor Grauwolf January 25, 2009