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Dead Man’s Hand Dutch Rudder

When someone (friend, stranger, homeless person, whoever) is either unconscious or deceased and you grab their hand, wrap their fingers around your erect penis and manipulate their elbow into moving their arm to jerk you off.
“Yo, my buddy was passed out in basically a diabetic coma, so before I called 911 I used him to give me a dead man’s hand Dutch rudder. I even finished right before the paramedics got there. I told them the jizz on his face was just frosting from all the Cinnabon and sodies he ate. They bought it!”
by The Gaudy Ginger February 10, 2021
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Dead man’s hand

When being blue balled by a girl, any man can utilize dead man’s hand. Wait for the girl to sleep and gently put her hand on your phallus whilst you fantasize about her jerking you off.
Chad: “So Brad, did you get lucky with Jessica last night?

Brad: “Nah dude, she blue balled me. I used the dead man’s hand though, so eventually she made me jizz.”

Chad: “Awesome”
by Anonymos Maximus July 12, 2021
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pry it from my cold dead hands

The thing that is the most valuable to you, can only be taken away when you are Deceased.
Those bastards can try and "Pry it from my cold dead hands!"
by Sosku10 December 11, 2021
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Dead mans handjob

The act of copulating ones self with a hand that has fallen asleep from lack of circulation
Yo man I woke up with a numb hand today so I gave myself a dead mans handjob.
by Dannybear&Clineq June 6, 2012
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Dead Fish Handshake

The ultimate faux pas in handshaking criteria. When you shakes another person's hand, it feels as if you are holding a dead fish.
John: "Did you meet Anthony yet?"
David: "Yeah, notice that pussy ass dead fish handshake of his?"
by Barack Oprama January 10, 2008
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deadhand

The username of someone that is frustrated that the most popular definition is about whacking off.
deadhand wishes he chose a different username, but he can't go back now.
by deadhand October 2, 2018
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deadhand

To drop a drink. When a person is too drunk to hold a drink and it slips out. Usually accompanied by merciless taunting.
Lennie was so drunk that he deadhanded his rum and coke. There were shards of glass everywhere.
by ShardsOfGlass December 20, 2009
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