Consult Professor Hans Jerkov

To wank

When I'm got getting any, I consult Professor Hans Jerkov

by Dollarbill85 September 1, 2010

consulting

The act of telling your client you know how to "grab the low hanging fruit" or that task "is like trying to rearrange the deck furniture on the Titanic." One then charges a ton of money to the client for something that could have easily been done by a trained monkey. This scam continues to the next client once the original realizes they can do the same work for much cheaper.

I was going to work for a large bank, but then I realized I could do easier work and make more money consulting for the banks, by using meaningless phrases executives love to hear.

by spivtron August 6, 2012

consultant

Someone who borrows your watch to tell you the time, and then walks off with it

a consultant is a legitimate, occasionally usefull professional adivser

by 666Mike999 August 17, 2006

Consuela

Universal name for a hotel maid.

"We need more towels. Call Consuela!"

by GreenMonter August 8, 2005

gnarly consuelos

when you titty fuck a chick backwards and she gives you a rimjob at the same time.

Francesca's cleavage exposing dress lead to a great gnarly consuelos opportunity.

by yu sun March 30, 2009

Network Consultant

A parasite that contributes nothing to the network and is only looking for ways to stay on the payroll. This is the individual at the burger joint that asks “do you want fries with that?” The network Consultant is constantly looking for useless network tweaks to justify his presence at a customer site. Be especially weary of the Euro-trash no talent hack type; this character dazzles senior management with a ridiculous accent all the while unraveling the solid network that’s in place. Network consultants never look at a network as a whole, but only analyze bits and pieces of it. In this manner they always have work do to since the last project they completed broke some other part of the network.

I’m gonna have to give nickel blow jobs in the street to get my self respect back after taking this network consultant job.

If that network consultant was on fire; I wouldn’t piss on him.

by network dog February 14, 2006

consult the oracle

To type a word,phrase,question,or query in to google. To seek an answer via the search engine google.

"What time does the movie start?"
"I'm not sure...consult the oracle!"

"Hmmm ....I have a nasty rash...time to consult the oracle..."

by canuckchuck66 October 4, 2014