Beard Blasphemy

The standard punishment resulting from secretly being jealous of another man's beard due to the fact that one is afraid a fist will pop out of it and knock their teeth out.

After I crushed the Block exam they just got in their cars and drove off. I guess their dental insurance didn't cover beard blasphemy?

by Tadalafil September 14, 2010

Blasphemy

When something is so accurate, it hurts.

"Did you hear about that Guiselle chick being a lesbian?"
"Whoa dude. Blasphemy, bro."

by jiggityjugs July 30, 2013

Blasphemy

Absurd due to the fact that it is too awesome/true for that of the ignorant ones to understand.

"I don’t believe in God. He never talks to me like he does to those other lesser followers of him within the Bible."
"Be cautious, lone sheep. God talks to me everyday, so that in which you speak of is blasphemy."

by Bucket Life October 16, 2007

blasphemy

a slang term for the word bullshit.

Bob: yo i gotta write a 10 page report on WEB Du Bois.
Tom:thats blasphemy.

by Jacky L January 9, 2008

Blasphemy

Standing up butt naked in a church and shouting obscenities at your dick.

Jerry ran up to the preacher as he showed great blasphemy, the church was shocked.

by BarnyRd September 3, 2019

bohemian blasphemy

a type of foreplay for advanced students

him: "babe, the entirety of my genitalia is pointing towards your mekka!"
her: "bebe, my tittays, my crotch, my nose, my toes, even my eyelashes are directed towards your jerusalem."

(they sing bohemian blasphemy together and run away)

by Krkič April 14, 2019

blasphemy

The intent of doing an act that's considered to go with your beliefs with a third-party goes completely against your belief.

Person 1: I'm vegan, but I'm purchasing a vegan food product from a non-vegan food franchise
Person 2: Blasphemy!

by Can't find a handle November 13, 2021