Suburban vertigo

Disorientation one experiences while traveling around residential and commercial zones in and around a city. Feeling lost while driving around a location for the first time.

I would have made it to the bar mitzvah sooner, but my goddamn suburban vertigo put me going West on Oak St when I thought I was going East.

by JC Mathews February 11, 2017

suburban slang

A word or phrase put forward as an example of urban slang, while in fact having little or no street usage. Otherwise known as wannabe slang or tryhard slang. Note: this term is self-referential.

A: Hey guys, I went shopping on Christmas Adam, and got such a mall hangover, I couldn't even do my replymas cards!
B to C: Man, that loser is a master of suburban slang.

by exyfeplin January 9, 2008

Suburban Mudslide

When you poop on a girls chest and then proceed to titty fuck her.

Person 1: Dude, I totally had the runs last night, so i had to pull a Suburban Mudslide on my bitch.

Person 2: Thats fucking haggard dude.

by JTECTNB April 7, 2010

Suburbanitis

1. A condition whereby any metropolitan area has its crime statistics exponentially increased or embellished by a person whose residence has fallen outside said area for at least three-quarters of their life.

2. Rarely visiting a city because of an irrational fear or stubborn ignorance.

After visiting Toronto, Matt felt encouraged and qualified to bash Detroit despite his embarrassing case of suburbanitis.

by Joshua Gillis August 3, 2008

Suburban Princess

The modern version of the idealized 1950's house wife (see: June Cleaver). She's a stay-at-home-mom that needs day care, and a maid to free her up for lunch dates with other Suburban Princesses, and afternoons pool side. She needs a high wage earning spouse to cover her cost since she is an expense rather than a contributor to the household. Unlike her 1950's predecessor she has no useful household skills; i.e. laundry, cooking, sewing. Typically the only thing she can make for dinner are reservations. If she encounters a single working mother and mentions how hard her life is she is most likely to be jerked bald and then beaten to death by said single working mother.

"Dude are you going to marry her?"
"No, I can't afford her. She wants to be a Suburban Princess."

by redhounddog July 9, 2005

Suburban Turban

In the midst of oral sex you proceed to duct tape your partner's head to your genitals by wrapping duct tape around your buttocks and the back of their head simultaneously.

Also known as: Head-Tape Rape, Guyana Gagger, Handyman's Special

Randall: "Yo, I gave Rachael a suburban turban!!"
Chris: "...I love you man..."
Mom: "Hey, Where is all the duct tape?!"

by Rasgettma November 1, 2008

Suburbanitus

When one has little to no conflict in their life to which they can rise to the occasion, that is build moral character through strife, they will begin creating problems. This disease, if you will, plagues the suburban regions of every state, often manifesting itself in young teens as well as middle-aged men going through identity crises, shallow trophy wives, tennis/soccer moms, parents obsessed with their child's sport or scout troop, etc. are all also examples of "adults" with Suburbanitus.

It's sister disease is Urbanitus, creating strife from boredom through petty crime, gangs, etc.

Such diseases hint to an underdeveloped maturity in thought, leading to the illogical use of excessive, unjustified emotion. Perhaps the saddest thing about Suburbanitus is the cure. Only life threatening situations in which one clearly sees how shallow their lives are given the prominent and very real threat of death can overcome the disease.

John: Hey Sally, want to hang out with me and Carol tonight?
Sally: Why do you choose her over me?
John: I'm not, I'm saying we should all hang out...
Sally: (bawls)
John: Bawwwwliin! Sally has the worst case of Suburbanitus. She just runs around causing problems and creating drama. She needs to grow up and quit acting like a child.

by Blake Tipton April 20, 2008