A rest room encounter in which two stalled bathroom attendees are both faced with a desire to NOT beat the opposing attendee to the finish line (often called the flush line).
The courteous stall attendee will wait for the opposing, earlier arriving squat jockey to flush before making his/or her pioneering lunge towards the flush line. This thankfully prevents said lunge from becoming recognizable by two of the five senses of the unwitting number two participant.
A rare phenomenon, ironically called the 'American Standoff', occurs when NEITHER stalwart bung vendor have had a chance to advance their cause. Both sit in incoommodious silence while their equally taciturn cube mate continues to clinch harder than a vice grip.
The American Standoff winner is crowned with the crapshooter who is able to hold out longer than a fat chick at a salad bar, and more importantly, their opponent.
Kudos, gallant gastrointestinal gamesman - this flush's for you!
The courteous stall attendee will wait for the opposing, earlier arriving squat jockey to flush before making his/or her pioneering lunge towards the flush line. This thankfully prevents said lunge from becoming recognizable by two of the five senses of the unwitting number two participant.
A rare phenomenon, ironically called the 'American Standoff', occurs when NEITHER stalwart bung vendor have had a chance to advance their cause. Both sit in incoommodious silence while their equally taciturn cube mate continues to clinch harder than a vice grip.
The American Standoff winner is crowned with the crapshooter who is able to hold out longer than a fat chick at a salad bar, and more importantly, their opponent.
Kudos, gallant gastrointestinal gamesman - this flush's for you!
Hey Tim, you'll never believe how long I had to sit and wait before I won an American Standoff today. My lower intestine was more uncomfortable than a lengthy pelvic examination performed by a man with two wooden hands.
by Darrah November 8, 2007
Get the American Standoff mug.A situation in which both parties are too nice to let themselves win at the other's expense. The opposite of a Mexican standoff.
For example, if two Canadians arrive simultaneously at a narrow doorway, each is likely to stand aside and invite the other to cross first, and so on, until they both give up, set up camp for the winter, and offer each other a beer.
For example, if two Canadians arrive simultaneously at a narrow doorway, each is likely to stand aside and invite the other to cross first, and so on, until they both give up, set up camp for the winter, and offer each other a beer.
When we were watching the game last night, my buddy and I got ourselves into a real Canadian standoff over the last slice of bacon pizza. It just ended up going cold.
by Tom Megginson October 17, 2005
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From the website of Mark Brandon "Chopper" Read:
"My apprenticeship in crime began in the 1970s. This had me robbing massage parlours and taking on contracts to maim and kill rivals. Once I had obtained a doctorate as a "standover man", robbing drug dealers and other criminals, who funnily enough couldn't report me to the police, became childs play. I once told a friend "why rob a straight guy of $20 when you can rob a drug dealer of $10,000 and he can't go running to the police?" After all both involved some work on my behalf, but the man in the street was less likely to give up his $20 as he had to work hard for it. For the drug-dealers it came easy, so why would they put up a fight. Although some of my victims chose to chew razor blades (at their own request of course), before they would hand over cash? And I am the psychopath!
"My apprenticeship in crime began in the 1970s. This had me robbing massage parlours and taking on contracts to maim and kill rivals. Once I had obtained a doctorate as a "standover man", robbing drug dealers and other criminals, who funnily enough couldn't report me to the police, became childs play. I once told a friend "why rob a straight guy of $20 when you can rob a drug dealer of $10,000 and he can't go running to the police?" After all both involved some work on my behalf, but the man in the street was less likely to give up his $20 as he had to work hard for it. For the drug-dealers it came easy, so why would they put up a fight. Although some of my victims chose to chew razor blades (at their own request of course), before they would hand over cash? And I am the psychopath!
by Yammer February 21, 2004
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Get the STANDO POWAH mug.An awkward standstill when two people realize they are typing to each other at the same time. They both stop typing to see if the other person responds first.
Jenny and I never finished cybering. I wanted to read her arousing message first but we engaged in an Entered Text Standoff
by SpyderNinja June 18, 2009
Get the Entered Text Standoff mug.When two men (typically Mormon) lock eyes and proceed to simultaneously give each other hand-jobs in a contest to see who can withstand orgasming the longest. The first man to ejaculate has "lost" the Utah standoff and is, by virtue, a homosexual.
This widely practiced method of settling disputes originated among Adam Smith's early followers as a non-lethal alternative to dueling. Recently, it has been employed as a litmus test to determine where a man falls in the spectrum of sexuality, as a heterosexual male would obviously not allow another man to force him to climax.
These affairs are rarely witnessed as they occur behind closed doors due to the socially questionable nature of the practice, but are truly a spectacle to behold. There is typically an exorbitant amount of grunting, grimacing, sweating, trying not to make out with each other, and occasionally crying, ending with an outburst from the losing contestant that consists of equal parts orgasmic pleasure and shame.
It is rumored that Joseph Smith hurriedly invented the Utah Standoff to explain what was happening when someone walked in on him passionately and intensely jerking off one of his followers, but again, these are only rumors.
This widely practiced method of settling disputes originated among Adam Smith's early followers as a non-lethal alternative to dueling. Recently, it has been employed as a litmus test to determine where a man falls in the spectrum of sexuality, as a heterosexual male would obviously not allow another man to force him to climax.
These affairs are rarely witnessed as they occur behind closed doors due to the socially questionable nature of the practice, but are truly a spectacle to behold. There is typically an exorbitant amount of grunting, grimacing, sweating, trying not to make out with each other, and occasionally crying, ending with an outburst from the losing contestant that consists of equal parts orgasmic pleasure and shame.
It is rumored that Joseph Smith hurriedly invented the Utah Standoff to explain what was happening when someone walked in on him passionately and intensely jerking off one of his followers, but again, these are only rumors.
Ezekial: That is verily my sheep, for I recognize it as the most beautiful in the flock. Return it to me at once, Jedidiah, or I shall invoke the Utah Standoff.
Jedidiah: Bring it on.
(Utah Standoff proceeds, Ezekial is defeated)
Jedidiah: Victory and the sheep are mine to enjoy!
Ezekial: I love you.
Jedidiah: I love you too.
Me: That's pretty gay.
Jedidiah: Bring it on.
(Utah Standoff proceeds, Ezekial is defeated)
Jedidiah: Victory and the sheep are mine to enjoy!
Ezekial: I love you.
Jedidiah: I love you too.
Me: That's pretty gay.
by Rake7613 January 30, 2010
Get the Utah Standoff mug.what often happens when two people are partaking in an instant messaging conversation. one person begins to type but then sees the icon that represents the other person is typing. this causes them to stop in an attempt to let the other person enter what they were typing. however, the other person notices that the first person was typing and also stops typing. thus, both people stop typing because they anticipate the other person will say something. chat standoff can often lead to extended moments of virtual silence and awkwardness that neither party enjoys.
guy 1: so i talked to tiffany on aim last night.
guy 2: how'd that go?
guy 1: terrible. we got caught in chat standoff and didn't say anything for half an hour.
guy 2: how'd that go?
guy 1: terrible. we got caught in chat standoff and didn't say anything for half an hour.
by ilikedykes January 22, 2009
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