scissor me timbers

A phrase used in a south park episode where Mr. or Ms. Garrison explored being a lesbian. Garrison was in bed with another woman "scissoring" (in which two women inter-lock each others legs for sexual arrousal). it is at this time that Garrison becomes excited and says "Oh yeah scissor me timbers!!!".

Lesbian: "I haven't gotten a piece of ass in a while I really wish somebody would scissor me timbers."

by Steven Siravo April 21, 2007

I need scissors! 61!

Towards the end of Konami's Metal Gear Solid 2 (PS2), a computer AI operating under the alias of Colonel Campbell becomes infected with a computer virus codenamed "GW." The virus proceeds to scramble the AI's memory and logic, causing the AI Campbell imposter to utter numerous phrases of complete nonsense, among them the phrase "...I need scissors! 61!" It is part of a longer quote, listed below.

The phrase "I need scissors!" has no particular or coherent meaning, as it is simply the product of a horribly scrambled AI.

"I hear its amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hari Kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!"

by Siegfried Zaga May 23, 2005

Rock Paper Scissors

One of the most pointless and nonsensical game used to make small decisions.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why isn't notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole.

by HAS 2006 December 8, 2004

scissor bang

slang for a lesbian orgy

A group of lesbians partaking in scissor bang activities.

by scissorbang November 13, 2013

scissor twin

the act of two lesbians scissor twinning it having sex with their legs spread like 2 scissors

Look at those two bull dykes scissor twinning it!

by azgurll February 20, 2017

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock

Scissors cuts paper; Paper covers rock; Rock crushes lizard; Lizard poisons Spock; Spock smashes scissors; Scissors decapitates lizard; Lizard eats paper; Paper disproves Spock; Spock vaporizes rock; And as it always has- Rock crushes scissors.

During a demanding game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock, Arnold snarled, "DAMN IT! Somebody is going to have to choose something other than Spock for this to work!"

by thesquidge July 19, 2009

Edward Scissortoes

Edward Scissortoes describes someone's freakishly overgrown toenails. Not only do they look disgusting, they are highly dangerous. The most common injury from Edward Scissortoes occurs when two people get into bed, the one about to be injured is unaware of the danger lurking under the covers. Then, in an attempt at affection, the offender (Mr. Edward Scissortoes) rubs his foot along his partners leg and leaves a gaping gash. A good indication that someone may have Edward Scissortoes is 1. If they never take there socks off without the lights off 2. They already have poor hygeine 3. You notice odd holes at the ends of your partners socks while doing laundry.

Woman: Lets go to bed.

Man: Okay, turn the lights off so I can get undressed.

Woman: I love you.

Man: I lov.....

Woman: WTF, You just sliced my leg open!

Man: Sorry, I didn't know how to tell you I have Edward Scissortoes.

Woman: Well, we're taking you to the Farrier tomorrow.

(A Farrier is someone who grooms horse hoofs)

by Mitchellar31 March 19, 2010