Schlem

A wet fart, a fart in which upon being expelled from the anus, carries with it ass juice. Leaving your undergarments caught in the crossfire. A schlem can be due to relaxed sphincter muscles, i.e. bum love. If you are unfortunate enough to suffer a schlem, do not try and salvage your underwear, make sure you dispose of it!

"Aw man i've got 'schlem' juice running down my leg!"

"I hear Ian 'schlems' so bad, he has to wear a sanitary towel!"

by Jamie Carberry November 16, 2007

schlemiel

A person so inept even inanimate objects pick on them.

Don't let that schlemiel touch anything. If it doesn't break he will hurt himself or both.

by Frank Lisa August 8, 2006

phi psy schmegma kai toothbrush

The underground fraternal act of slowly removing the penis from your pants, being careful not to disturb the unsuspecting victim (usually sleeping or dead from multiple keg stands) and rolling the tip and foreskin of your penis over the victims mouth allowing all of the schmegma buildup and residue to be dispersed in the victims oral cavity. The addition of some schmegma covered pubes to the concoction is also allowed.

After i phi psy schmegma kai toothbrushed that fat chick last night my dick might just be clean enough to eat off of without the taste of old ass cheese and sorority muff.

by dive team 13 September 6, 2010

Schleem

A type of faerie which tends to hover near large industrial rolls of bubble wrap, furiously beating its wings in the hope that someone or some thing will approach and slowly wrap the faerie in bubble wrap while whispering sweet nothings into its ears.

You: "Brandon what the hell is that noise? It sounds like a chicken being tickled to death by a sawzall"
Brandon: "It's that damn schleem again, Uline sent us too much bubble wrap and we couldn't fit it all in the safe"

by plandemic_hoax August 5, 2020

schlemy

The itchy, scratchy, annoying feeling in the back of your throat that you just can't ever get rid of... it's a parasite, similar to a leech.

My neck is killing me.... I've had this schlemy for about 3 weeks now.

by Dickie Greenfield September 29, 2005

schmegman american

Anyone who claims to be "African American" that has no lineage to Africa for multiple generations and that reaks of schmegma.

"Schmegman American"-LOLLA, enough said. May also be referred to as Roland

by YATYAS April 30, 2011

schmegma cheese

Fermented deposits of white chunkiness on or under the foreskin of a dirty European wang. These deposits can often resemble in smell that of blue cheese crumbles or Limburger.

She gets a lot of UTI’s because her boyfriend keeps pumping his dirty schmegma cheese infested wang in her day and night.

by Shamuslovespopsicles December 21, 2018