The morbidly obese man that breaks into houses every year on December 24th and eats all of the food in your house. If you ever see him in your house, run. Santa Claus will give out presents to kids that he finds attractive and the ugly ones get coal. The presents usually have trackers in them as he handmade them with his children slaves that he kidnapped, also known as “elves”
Sometimes you may find some very small elves in your house. Dispose of them immediately because they have cameras in them. Santa isn’t your friend. He’s a child predator.
Sometimes you may find some very small elves in your house. Dispose of them immediately because they have cameras in them. Santa isn’t your friend. He’s a child predator.
*kid wakes up*
oh my goodness it’s santa claus and he is in my room
santa claus: ho ho ho get in my fabric sack
kid: *climbs into fabric sack*
santa claus: hahaha now you are my elf
kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*the kid was forced to make toys until the end of time*
oh my goodness it’s santa claus and he is in my room
santa claus: ho ho ho get in my fabric sack
kid: *climbs into fabric sack*
santa claus: hahaha now you are my elf
kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*the kid was forced to make toys until the end of time*
by SteeringWheelFaceReveal June 12, 2023
Get the Santa Clausmug. Someone adults made up and tell their children he delivers all the presents on Christmas Eve. He supposably lives in the North Pole with all his lil elves making toys and Mrs. Jessica Claus. Obviously he does not exist because the inpersonators you see at the mall and such would be arrested for identity theft. So what is the point of him? To give children something to believe in and spread Christmas spirit around. Becasue of him now people don't even know what Christmas really is all about and just want gifts. What does Santa Claus have to do with he birth of God?
He comes down the chimney, which isn't practical since he is apparently really fat.
He comes down the chimney, which isn't practical since he is apparently really fat.
Adult: Go to sleep early Cindy Lou Who, or Santa Clause won't come!
Cindy Lou Who: OK mommy/daddy, don't forget to leave out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for his magical reindeer you told me about. I cant believe they can fly, pull his sleigh with his fat body and everybody on the nice list's presents and naughty lists coal!!!! Night night!
Cindy Lou Who: OK mommy/daddy, don't forget to leave out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for his magical reindeer you told me about. I cant believe they can fly, pull his sleigh with his fat body and everybody on the nice list's presents and naughty lists coal!!!! Night night!
by Young Gothic Rocker Chic December 28, 2005
Get the Santa Clausmug. original name: Zänte Klas
pronounced: (tsain teh klahz)
A German Nazi doctor who dealt in psychological experimentations with the Jewish prisoners by leaving symbolic items in odd places; such as a ragdoll nailed to a wall. He also loved to play jokes on his fellow officers. In one account, Klas was locked out of a building for being a nuisance and ended up climbing on the roof and sliding down the chimney in order to get inside where he proceeded to eat all of the food and drink the last of their milk stock.
Feared by many for his extreme madness, yet unliked in high command for his lack of success, he was reassigned to an expiditionary team bound for the northern pole. Due to bad weather, the team was left stranded without resupply for weeks in which all died but one. The lone survivor's recount was a terrible one, describing how Herr Zänte Klas killed and ate the team, being the big man he was. When asked how he escaped, the survivor said Klas had been watching him closely, and told him he was a good boy and wouldn't be harmed.
All the men who were killed had, on the night before, hung up their big wool socks to dry and woke to find coal had been placed in them. Another one of Klas's symbolic jokes, they thought. Too late did they realize the truth.
pronounced: (tsain teh klahz)
A German Nazi doctor who dealt in psychological experimentations with the Jewish prisoners by leaving symbolic items in odd places; such as a ragdoll nailed to a wall. He also loved to play jokes on his fellow officers. In one account, Klas was locked out of a building for being a nuisance and ended up climbing on the roof and sliding down the chimney in order to get inside where he proceeded to eat all of the food and drink the last of their milk stock.
Feared by many for his extreme madness, yet unliked in high command for his lack of success, he was reassigned to an expiditionary team bound for the northern pole. Due to bad weather, the team was left stranded without resupply for weeks in which all died but one. The lone survivor's recount was a terrible one, describing how Herr Zänte Klas killed and ate the team, being the big man he was. When asked how he escaped, the survivor said Klas had been watching him closely, and told him he was a good boy and wouldn't be harmed.
All the men who were killed had, on the night before, hung up their big wool socks to dry and woke to find coal had been placed in them. Another one of Klas's symbolic jokes, they thought. Too late did they realize the truth.
So be a good boy because "Santa Claus" watches closely and rewards those who are good. But be a bad boy, and you'll find more than coal in the morning...
by Winter Wonder January 27, 2009
Get the Santa Clausmug. by PeteRepeat October 1, 2006
Get the Santa Clausmug. Codeword for the guy we depend on to deliver the good bud.
He don't just show up on Christmas Eve; but, he is rather erratic on his timing, dammit.
He don't just show up on Christmas Eve; but, he is rather erratic on his timing, dammit.
KELLY (on cell): Hey, Gary just thought I'd let you know: I haven't seen SANTA CLAUS. So, I guess it's 'whenever.' I wish he'd hurry up and at least gimme a call.
My boyz are itchin'.
GARY: "Well, maybe he's stuck in traffic. It'll be Christmas soon."
KELLY: "Alright, man. I just thought I'd let you know."
My boyz are itchin'.
GARY: "Well, maybe he's stuck in traffic. It'll be Christmas soon."
KELLY: "Alright, man. I just thought I'd let you know."
by Chingo Bolamongo December 22, 2006
Get the Santa Clausmug. The best man ever, as he is so generous and only take some-what crappy cookies in return. I love that man. <0> <3
I love Santa Claus. <3
by Santa Claus Lover <3 December 8, 2012
Get the Santa Clausmug. A fat man who comes to your house once a year and not any day because he's in jail for breaking and entering.
by Diamondstar9878 December 10, 2018
Get the Santa Clausmug.