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Pledge

A special kind of payment where you get all the benefits of paying but you don’t have to actually pay any money
Lawyer: “Did you donate the money?”

Amber Heard: “Yeah, I pledged it”

Waittress: “Please pay your bill”
Guy: “I pledged it”
by Doctor Pondersnatch May 21, 2022
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Colbert Absinthe-tinence Pledge

A solemn promise to refrain from Absinthe ingestion to prevent the ear-severing, cubo-witticisms (or worse) that would inherently bloom. It is vowed as follows:

"I, (state your name), do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe. Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient syn(es)thetic inspiration and sinsister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant.”
After completing the Absinthe ritual several times over with newly-made friends from Argentina, Quebec City and Gainesville, Florida (state your name) shot to his feet and bolted toward the waterfront and a club on the pier of beautiful Barcelona, in search of adventure. Little did he realise, he would end up having his balls grabbed by that dirty Spaniard Frank, leaning in for a kiss or something, all after inviting (state your name) back to his apartment to wait for his "hot journalist friends in little skirts" that didn't end up meeting him at the club. Waking up at his hostel late in the afternoon, (state your name)'s face was pale green-opalescent white like the colour of Absinthe mixed with water.

In hindsight, the Colbert Absinthe-tinence Pledge would have made a helluva lot of sense.
by Blair Larratt November 19, 2007
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Alpha Pledge

Wow, Sam cleaned the entire house and washed the dishes. He is definitely the alpha pledge
by Fratter1911 March 30, 2015
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Pledge

A person you send to get you more beer when you run out.
"The coolers running low, Pledge!"
by Justafriend July 13, 2016
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Schoolers Pledge

The silent pledge all grade schoolers take to never crap in a school toilet.
"I really gotta go, but I took the pledge."
by John Mahoney October 28, 2004
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Pledge of Allegiance

Daily address read throughout public schools in America every morning. Used to be just fine and dandy until President Eisenhower added 'under God' in 1954 to spite the communists.

Now that 'under God' is a clear violation of the Establishment Clause of the federal Constitution, as defined by the Supreme Court in Engel v. Vitale, people push to remove the words from the Pledge. Others, such as fundamentalist Christians, claim we are a country of God. Whatever. THIS IS NOT A THEOCRACY.
I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
by Don't Mess With Texas March 28, 2004
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