Pasteurbation

noun

1.The act of using pasteurized milk as lubricant while pleasuring oneself.

2. The act of spilling milk on a laptop whilst looking at porn, consequently voiding any warranty under which the PC might be.

3. The acting of rubbing one out to grazing cattle.

After receiving blue balls from his girlfriend, Jon resorted to pasteurbation when he realized he ran out of lotion.

After speaking with a Geek about repairing her computer, Peggy became irate once she was told her PC's warranty was void. After further inquiry, she discovered that milk spillage was not covered. She later realized that her son, Byron, was into some heavy, habitual pasteurbation.

by BulldogNelly June 20, 2012

Pasturebation

The act of happening upon a beautiful scene scape, one that stops you dead in your tracks and forces you to think about the beauty in the world (such as the love of your life coming up behind you, wrapping their arms around you firmly, resting their head in the nape of your neck and quietly whispering "I love you"). The kind of place where it seems that the wind itself whistles merry tunes, as if to say, "hey little guy, everything's going to be alright..." and a photographer behind you is capturing every perfect moment so it can be used as a default wallpaper for Windows 90 million or a background on a calendar for the month of September. Then, just as your head is being filled with wondrous thoughts, and you could swear you caught a whiff of fresh apple pie right out of the oven, you notice a man right at the top of the hill, standing directly in front of the sunset where the sky meets the earth, violently Pasturebating. Yes, that's right. Don't clean your glasses or blink twice, leaning forward a bit. That man is publicly masturbating atop one of the most beautiful places on planet earth. He then, with a grin from ear to ear that makes dead grandmothers everywhere nod their head exclaiming "what a nice boy", blows his regal load in the direction of the once-calming wind and you watch it fly away; forever whisked to the fertile loins of forever. You will never look at this place the same again. In fact, you will be so scarred you will probably never return at all.

Mom: Here it is sweetie, the Grand Canyon!

Child: oh wow! what's THAT mom?!

Mom: What's wha.......oh my god....IS THAT.....IS HE............WHO THE FUCK........WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Child: what's a "fuck" mom?

Mom: SHUT THE FUCK UP....WE'RE OUT OF HERE......THOSE DAMN PASTUREBATERS WITH THEIR PASTUREBATION JUST HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING, DON'T THEY.........

by B.D. Joe October 12, 2010

Cassturbation

1).The art of mastubation over a girl named Cass.
2). No meaning at all.

"Mmm, Cass was great in bed last night."
"j00 s3r10us? I C4ssturb4t3d"
"You really are a loser, aren't you?"
"Ys3"

by Eight Legged Freak March 2, 2004

Critical Massturbation

(n)The point at which one's ejaculation becomes explosive.

"Man, last night I jacked it for like six hours before I hit critical massturbation."

by MisterCell. April 14, 2013

Pissturbation

To be masturbating, and then have to piss while doing so.

Nintenjoe was so drunk after the 3 beers he drank, that he pissturbated.

by ICB4LIFE January 25, 2005

posturbation

also: Posturbating

'liking' or 'upping' your own posts.

If you have to like or up your own post, it's posturbation, and you probably should have kept it to yourself anyway.

by pteryakisan October 30, 2013

pasturbating

Masturbating to something good that has happened to you or a friend in the past.

1. "Dude, do you remember that one time I got laid?" "Yeah, I'm pasturbating right now!"
2. "Pasturbation really is the best, especially if it happened to you!"

by Xaneth April 4, 2014