zone offense

A strategy employed by a group of males at a crowded bar. Members of the group strategically disperse themselves around the bar to pick up females in their particular vicinity.

I got two phone numbers during our zone offense last night.

by T.I.S.F January 11, 2009

Secretary of Offense

The new name for the Secretary of Defense. Apparently, the best defense is now a good offense. The United States attacks and invades nations if they feel it might benefit them in any way. This, in turn, has led to more support in the Middle East for their Secretary of Offense: Al Qaeda.

Ron Paul: "Extremists don't attack us because we are rich and free. They attack us because we have been OVER THERE!"

You can thank our Secretary of Offense for that!

by boomsham777 May 12, 2011

no offense

Something someone says right before saying something that may be offensive. as opposed to, say, not saying anything offensive at all.

You are such a completely moronic asshole. No offense

by LordXeras January 7, 2011

folding offense

An outrageous mistake, misunderstanding, or insult. Unforgivable behavior.

I don’t care how many time you apologize, Jess; it was a folding offense.

by Jessica Loraine March 12, 2021

puckable offense

A provocation by an individual that warrants retaliation by way of a piss puck.

A puckable offense occurs often in dorm rooms on college campuses for a multitude of reasons.

Puckable offenses include, but are not limited to:
--Drinking the last beer in someone else's fridge
--Puking in someone's room
--Blaring loud music at a late hour, prohibiting sleep
--Just being an unlikeable asshole

Tom walks into Jim's dorm room while Jim and friends are drinking.

Tom: What's up Jim? (takes last beer from fridge)

Jim: Hey, that's my last beer.

Tom: I know, thanks. I'll get you back sometime. (leaves room)

Jim: (talking to others in room) Tom is such an asshole. Taking my last beer is definitely a puckable offense.

(Jim creates a piss puck, waits till 3 AM and kicks in under Tom's door)

by CM$ney May 11, 2009

wildcat offense

Spitting game to women. Specifically reading their next move like it is the defensive end, which is the typical read of the wildcat offense.

Chris was really running his wildcat offense to perfection last night. He got 3 numbers and a blowjob. I think he is better than anyone at running the wildcat offense. He is so money!

by The Panarelli Pipe January 18, 2011

offense kleptomaniac

Someone who, when they find an offense that isn't nailed down, will take it, even if they have no connection at all to the person or group that would supposedly be offended by the "offense" in question. This malady is often found in those practicing political correctness, though not exclusive to them.

"What's he complaining about? He's not even affected, it has nothing to do with him whatsoever."

"Oh, he's an offense kleptomaniac."

by nohbody January 1, 2009