Molestache

The type of mustache that someone who is molesty would wear.
The mustache of a molester.
The bigger and dirtier the molestache, the more molesty the molester will be.

"Check out that guy's molestache...he's so molesty!"
"Man...don't go around that guy, his molestache is a dead give away of future molestation."

by Lize87 July 31, 2007

molestache

1. a mustache thinner than one left by milk or kool aid reticent of creepers. 2. often found on the upper lips of hipsters who are on a quest for the truly ironic handlebar mustache but for some reason or another fail at attaining glory. they often make up for this lack of facial handlebars by riding around town on a neon fixed gear bike (with sweet handlebars) 3. sometimes found on men sporting mock turtlenecks. 4. found when boys skinny jeans are too tight and their leg hair sprouts on their upper lip instead.

"hey i heard you were trying to get a job at that local record bike store vegan organic cafe?"
"yeah, i don't think i fit in though...I don't have a molestache."
"but you're a girl..."

by oopseiffelover March 7, 2010

molestache

A mustache that makes you look like you molest children.

Check out that guys molestache! Keep him within 100 feet of that elementary school.

by lolamite February 3, 2010

Molestache

Creepy facial hair, whether wispy thin or curled into odd shapes, patently unattractive to adult women; Clear perv alert.

Woman #1: Did you hear your neighbor is on the Megan's Law website?!

Woman #2: I knew it! He had a molestache!

by Tempest Fugit June 21, 2012

molestache

When a person, more humorous when they happen to be female, has a mole above her upper lip area, supplemented with a mousatche, varying in thickness.

Dude, look at that chick's molestache.

by Nick (2) Chris Sean etc etc March 20, 2004

molestache

A cheesy mustache that gives the wearer the appearance of a stereotypical 1970s child molester.

John's new molestache makes me want to hide my kid whenever I see him

by delapine April 30, 2010

Molestache

verb. To be molested by one with a molestache.

J Barn was molestached by that guy in Italy!

by L Good May 30, 2007