molestache

1. a mustache thinner than one left by milk or kool aid reticent of creepers. 2. often found on the upper lips of hipsters who are on a quest for the truly ironic handlebar mustache but for some reason or another fail at attaining glory. they often make up for this lack of facial handlebars by riding around town on a neon fixed gear bike (with sweet handlebars) 3. sometimes found on men sporting mock turtlenecks. 4. found when boys skinny jeans are too tight and their leg hair sprouts on their upper lip instead.

"hey i heard you were trying to get a job at that local record bike store vegan organic cafe?"
"yeah, i don't think i fit in though...I don't have a molestache."
"but you're a girl..."

by oopseiffelover March 07, 2010