mastacating

THIS IS A REAL WORD! It means to chew your food.

Mom: Son, you have another phone call. Do you want me too tell them your eating diner?
Son: Yeah just tell them I'm mastacating! They'll deffinatley stop calling

by Nicole Morrow September 25, 2005

The masturbating ninja technique

When a gentlemen decides to enter the masturbatory stage of his day, he may decide to deploy the homo sapien style (standing up) only to realize his t-shirt drops down into penile range. To avoid ejaculate or any lubratory means being transferred onto ones personnel, the ninja technique is engaged by whipping the front flap of the t-shirt over the head to create a warm, stylish, and protective measure against the army of unbelievable stickiness.

Policeman 1: "We found this fine young lad frozen to death here in the arctic tundra'.
Policeman 2: "It looks like he's been out here for weeks and missed the warm soothing touch of a woman, and decided to literally take matters into his own hands".
Policeman 1: "Correctomundo. If only he had a mentor to teach him the ways of the masturbating ninja technique, he might have pulled through".
Policeman 2: "Hey! Yeah that's true. If only he kept his shirt flipped over his head with his shoulders covered instead of taking it completely off, he'd still be here today".
Policeman 1: "Poor, poor, uninformed bastard".

by dirk digglett March 31, 2015

caught masturbating

Being made to feel shame and humiliation for something that every one else does.

Jill was caught masturbating in her dorm room, and her friends will never let her forget about it.

by Jill VanDeLay September 30, 2003

Masticating

To chew something. Like steak. Not to be confused with masturbating

"I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide."
"Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!"

by My Immortal Reader July 11, 2012

Masturbating

Something we all do but are too afraid to admit it. If you think that I'm lying when saying we all do it, then take a look at the stats: 40 million Americans consider themselves regular visitors to porn sites.

"I just masturbated," said Creepy Clyde.
OR
"I love masturbating," explained someone.

by Where the frogs February 26, 2017

violently masturbating

Niall Horan from One Direction was caught violently masturbating in Tokyo.

"Of all the boy band members I can't believe Niall was the one caught violently masturbating."

by 1directionfellow January 23, 2013

maskerbating

maskerbating - Wearing a COVID-19 mask while driving in your car alone or walking outside alone. Go do it into the privacy of your home.

I saw somebody maskerbating in their car with the windows up, and a COVID-19 mask strapped tightly onto their face.

by Crackerguy June 10, 2020