A widespread and mind-numbing writing appliance used by uncreative teachers and schools to spread dissatisfaction with writing among their students. Though "creative" five-paragraph essays have been written, the form is generally mandated by dull minds to make writing and thinking dull.
All five-paragraph essays begin with an introduction ("tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em!") followed by three body paragraphs ("tell 'em!") and a frighteningly repetetive conclusion ("tell 'em what you told 'em!").
All five-paragraph essays begin with an introduction ("tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em!") followed by three body paragraphs ("tell 'em!") and a frighteningly repetetive conclusion ("tell 'em what you told 'em!").
My teacher is making me write a five-paragraph essay on why I shouldn't think for myself and write creatively in school, but it's like way too boring.
by spenceronehalf December 15, 2005
Get the five-paragraph essay mug.An essay due at midnight, making for a stressful evening that turns to joy (or embarrassment) once the paper is sent off.
Jeff: "Hey, do you want to watch Star Wars tonight?"
Bryan: "No way! I'm writing a midnight essay, and it's already 7 p.m."
Bryan: "No way! I'm writing a midnight essay, and it's already 7 p.m."
by Wanderfalke May 3, 2010
Get the Midnight essay mug.A ploy conceived by English teachers to show their jaded outlook towards students who are either too stupid to do it anyway, or are smart, but prefer pin-point to the point answering rather than spending five paragraphs trying to convince "X" to do "Y". They usually give people a week or so to do the essay, but it is known fact that nobody does the stupid things until the night before it's due.
Tom - "We're going to see a movie, wanna come along?"
Ray - "No, I've still got this clusterfuck of an essay to write."
William -"You mean the one where you have to write five pages about what your favorite aspect of Beowulf was and why?"
Ray - "Yep. See you guys monday."
Ray - "No, I've still got this clusterfuck of an essay to write."
William -"You mean the one where you have to write five pages about what your favorite aspect of Beowulf was and why?"
Ray - "Yep. See you guys monday."
by Insert Alias Here October 12, 2009
Get the Essay mug.I have to do this tomorrow. I'm totally fucked now. Thanks a lot, Mrs. smoking pot Dunn-Peters for not teaching me about essays.
by suicidalqueen February 20, 2011
Get the essay mug.Apparently, his aim is not disgusting, he plays at a high level in all games. Unfortunately too lazy to be a pro player.
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twitter.com/essault
twitch.tv/essaultify
ᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏~♡
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Get the Essault mug.the person who brightens every day just by being in it. Whose smile and giggle is infectious. The person you love until your heart is fit to burst!
Essien my nephew.
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