Named after the Angles/Anglos at the time, which divided up the British Isle into Angle-land, Wessex, and a place for the natives. Neighbor to Wales and Scotland, and part of the United Kingdom. Once one of the greatest empires in the world, it still holds some clout. The capital is London, which is by far the worst place in it, being over crowded, about two degrees hotter than the rest of england. Known for inventing both Ping-pong and football, it was also the first country to use or even think up soap. A beautiful place, though it is, at times, a bit dreary.
It was one of the first nations to give right to former slaves, and has already had a female leader, something the rest of the world seems to completely ignore.
The English are known for being bitterly sarcastic, and are quite critical of everything.
As far as music goes, punk is ours. Many a great composer and singer has come from Angle-land. Andrew Lloyd Webber is from England, as was Shakespeare.
One of the first to reject the Catholic Church, though that was just over divorce issues.
Also known by their enemies, the French, who they will bicker with and insult until someone tries to do the same, in which case they will defend them.
The food is wonderful in England, contrary to popular belief.
The flag of England is the Saint George's Cross.
England is also not to be confused with Britain, or the United Kingdom.
It was one of the first nations to give right to former slaves, and has already had a female leader, something the rest of the world seems to completely ignore.
The English are known for being bitterly sarcastic, and are quite critical of everything.
As far as music goes, punk is ours. Many a great composer and singer has come from Angle-land. Andrew Lloyd Webber is from England, as was Shakespeare.
One of the first to reject the Catholic Church, though that was just over divorce issues.
Also known by their enemies, the French, who they will bicker with and insult until someone tries to do the same, in which case they will defend them.
The food is wonderful in England, contrary to popular belief.
The flag of England is the Saint George's Cross.
England is also not to be confused with Britain, or the United Kingdom.
"Just lie back, and think of England." A rather nice song.
Git of any particular ethnicity(Let's say American, though It could be any nationality/ethnicity/race), "Oi. You're from England. Does that mean your related to Simon Cowell/The Queen/Hugh Laurie."
Me, "One, I'm British, as I am half welsh. Two, you're America. Does that mean you are related to George Bush?"
Git of any particular ethnicity(Let's say American, though It could be any nationality/ethnicity/race), "Oi. You're from England. Does that mean your related to Simon Cowell/The Queen/Hugh Laurie."
Me, "One, I'm British, as I am half welsh. Two, you're America. Does that mean you are related to George Bush?"
by Alice will Appear July 9, 2010
Get the England mug.The best country in the world and probably the most hated for some reason but we dont drink tea all day and we r not all posh, actually i've never met anyone that talks like 'we' do in american films.
England help france in the war and then they sell really dangerous bombs n stuff to argentinians in the falklands war
by jakew September 14, 2006
Get the England mug.Related Words
by Donside April 26, 2006
Get the England mug.A country obsessed with it's national football team despite not having won a relevant tournament in over four decades. Their football fans are the only fans in the world that a) celebrate BEFORE winning a world cup or Euro cup and b) give death threats to those players (they feel) responsible for failing their countries team. Whenever facing off against their rivals Germany, they will, prior to face-off, hide behind immature WW2 references, mostly consisting of uneducated claims that they singlehandedly won two world wars.
The current 2000's England squad is the very first England squad to allow violent inbreds to compete for a major sporting event. It also features David Beckham, the first ever England captain to be sent off.
Whenever their national team lose (and they are only ever destined to) the country will sink into a deep depression and will show remarkable denial. Plently of riots in town centres and council estates will emerge. Then, the day after, everyone will pretend that the English national squad was only a 'side' interest and will claim that their heart is with club football. At least, for another 2 years.
The current 2000's England squad is the very first England squad to allow violent inbreds to compete for a major sporting event. It also features David Beckham, the first ever England captain to be sent off.
Whenever their national team lose (and they are only ever destined to) the country will sink into a deep depression and will show remarkable denial. Plently of riots in town centres and council estates will emerge. Then, the day after, everyone will pretend that the English national squad was only a 'side' interest and will claim that their heart is with club football. At least, for another 2 years.
by David C H May 18, 2009
Get the England mug.Simply, the greatest country in the world. Any negative points said about it, is basically jelousy and every country has equal or far worse points. Britain created the British empire which covered most of the world, and started the industrial revolution which was a turning point in history... Also, our friends in the West, America, uses our language... and along with other countries makes it one of the most spoken languages in history. If it wasn't for England, good ol US of A would be full of native americans, and you woudnt have the necessities you have and take for granted. How great a country must we be, to rule most of the world, and achieving all this even though our country is so small!
WE MAY HAVE A CRAP FOOTBALL TEAM, BUT WE INVENTED FOOTBALL, SO HOW BOUT THAT! in conclusion, England is a phenominal country, and has achieved so much!
WE MAY HAVE A CRAP FOOTBALL TEAM, BUT WE INVENTED FOOTBALL, SO HOW BOUT THAT! in conclusion, England is a phenominal country, and has achieved so much!
by John-BeProud July 21, 2006
Get the england mug.Terribly difficult to some up briefly, so short and sweet:
One of the greatest nations ever.
Has an outstandingly extensive and fascinating history.
Once controlled virtually the whole world.
Has one of the most amazingingly diverse and exciting capitals in the world.
The English have played a significant role in the development of the arts and sciences throughout the globe.
Thanks to the legacy of the British Empire, the English language is now the world's unofficial lingua franca, while English common law is also the foundation of legal systems throughout the English-speaking countries of the world.
England has a long and rich musical history.
England has remained a central figure of literacy excellence throughout the past few centuries, notably Romanticism and Modernists.
Sir Winston Churchill, Isaac Newton, William Shakespeare and Charles Darwin- some of the most outstanding Englishmen.
Royal motto (French): Dieu et mon droit
(Translated: "God and my right")
One of the greatest nations ever.
Has an outstandingly extensive and fascinating history.
Once controlled virtually the whole world.
Has one of the most amazingingly diverse and exciting capitals in the world.
The English have played a significant role in the development of the arts and sciences throughout the globe.
Thanks to the legacy of the British Empire, the English language is now the world's unofficial lingua franca, while English common law is also the foundation of legal systems throughout the English-speaking countries of the world.
England has a long and rich musical history.
England has remained a central figure of literacy excellence throughout the past few centuries, notably Romanticism and Modernists.
Sir Winston Churchill, Isaac Newton, William Shakespeare and Charles Darwin- some of the most outstanding Englishmen.
Royal motto (French): Dieu et mon droit
(Translated: "God and my right")
This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,—
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.
William Shakespeare
Richard II (Act 2, Scene 1)
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,—
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.
William Shakespeare
Richard II (Act 2, Scene 1)
by Isaac, England September 1, 2008
Get the England mug.England is without a doubt the BEST country in the world, despite being ruled by a total idiot. But, to be perfectly honest, I have not yet found a competent leader or government. COntrary to what a majority of naive fools think, the English DO NOT drink tea and eat scones all day and DO NOT talk like the queen. In fact, the English are way tougher then any American (don't believe me, watch Green STreet Hooligans) and at least we fight like men and use our fists instead of running a mile and then using one of the thousand guns stored around the house. Sorry, yanks but England founded your 'great nation' and giving you independence was the biggest mistake we ever made.
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.
John Cleese
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.
John Cleese
by Bubs_13 November 25, 2007
Get the england mug.