Your computer has virus

This is what you hear before the Indian scammer starts to fix your computer but actually steals $11,000 from you.

John: "Hello, is this Microsoft tech support?"
Scammer: "Hello, your computer has virus."

by I just work here March 30, 2021

Computer Science

Is the in depth studies of the math and algorithms that are commonly used in computer systems and Computer Science will:

A) ruin your GPA...
B) make you hate your computer...
C) make your eyes bleed from reading too much code...
D) make you hate math and all things related to it...
F) not teach you how to make cool video games...
G) not teach you how to make neat animations...
H) teach you equations that hurt your head...
I) make you want to become a more violent person...
J) will make you gain weight from lack of movement...
K) ruin any chance of a college social life...
L) may be a cause of long term depression...
M) may make you suicidal!

Josie: "What the hell happened to Alex? I haven't seem him in THREE years!"
Johnnie: "He's right over there!"
Josie: "That fat pale guy with glasses? JESUS! THAT'S TERRIBLE! What happened to him?"
Johnny: "Yeah... Remember freshman year he decided to study Computer Science"
Josie: "OMG I would want to die!"
Johnnie: "Yeah... I think he might want to as well!"

by Koffeeaddict4eva July 31, 2012

AP Computer Science Principles

A completely useless class that was created basically so that the College Board can earn an extra buck. The class has not been accepted by any popular colleges or universities currently, as the class is completely based off of logic puzzles and nothing useful. AP Computer Science Principles does not have any learning base within it, since literally all of the practice questions can be answered by someone with no coding experience whatsoever. Basically, if you want a completely unenriching, free, and pointless hour tacked on to your schedule, then sign up for this class.

John- "Only half the kids killed themselves in AP Computer Science Principles today!"
Billy- "What!?! Only half!?!"

by crusty carl May 29, 2016

Computer Munchausen's

A mental disorder in which a user deliberately causes damage or creates issues to their computer or peripherals in order to generate social interaction with another human. i.e. Help Desk or support personnel.

Dude, this is the fifth time this week Stacy's disconnected her monitor and opened a ticket, I think she has Computer Munchausen's.

by XombieDad July 1, 2009

Computer Hangover

-Unpleasant sensations experienced after excessive time spent in front of a computer

-Hangover from too much computer(much like from hangover from too much alcohol). You may experience feeling of dizziness, headache, tiredness of eye, and illusion of computer screen moving in rippling motion.

I got a computer hangover from C++ programming non-stop for last 24 hours!

by Carolita7 December 5, 2007

Computer

A machine consisting of a processing unit, some form of memory, and peripheral devices for input and output. Used almost exclusively for updating Adobe Flash, updating Adobe PDF Reader, updating Java, and updating iTunes.

I have a lot of work to do on the computer today, my Adobe PDF Reader hasn't been updated since last night and my Java is nearly three days old!

by flamberge April 30, 2013

Computer

The most useful and most frustrating thing any human being will ever work with.

The computer crashed again. I lost three thousand lines of code.

by Mystery Man January 28, 2003