by Erik Belsaas March 17, 2005
by ailish980 January 07, 2008
A portmanteau of "cock gobbler".
You know that shoe repair store in the mall? You might think he'd have a foot fetish, but the old man who works there is actually a huge cobbler -- he takes about 10 guys a day in the back room and sucks them off.
by p0ppa January 23, 2016
by Jamie January 08, 2004
"Yooo broo how did things go last night with Jessica, you give her the ole mickey cobbler?"
"Duude I gave her more than the mickey cobbler, had a god damn 5 course meal down there!"
"Duude I gave her more than the mickey cobbler, had a god damn 5 course meal down there!"
by DannyDimes December 03, 2020
A sexual act wherein a fully-clothed, typically costumed subject pulls his/her pants down and squats the exposed buttocks down into a pie and wiggles around while being observed or filmed. Commonly associated with fetishists.
Synonyms: Hoboken Squat Cobbler, Full Moon Pie, Boston Cream Splat, Simple Simon the Ass Man, Dutch Apple Ass.
Variants: Crybaby Squat Cobbler, in which the subject cries while performing the act.
Synonyms: Hoboken Squat Cobbler, Full Moon Pie, Boston Cream Splat, Simple Simon the Ass Man, Dutch Apple Ass.
Variants: Crybaby Squat Cobbler, in which the subject cries while performing the act.
Dee: "What the hell is a Squat Cobbler??"
Jay: "It's when a man sits in pie. He sits... in a pie. And he... wiggles around."
Jay: "It's when a man sits in pie. He sits... in a pie. And he... wiggles around."
by SeamusOLanigan May 20, 2016
An act (frequently sexual in nature) that isn't illegal but is so embarrassing that one will go to great lengths (even lying to the police) to keep it a secret. The term originated on the TV series "Better Call Saul" in reference to a specific sexual act, but may be used to describe any action that's considered embarrassing.
Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: (snorts) You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: (snorts) You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
by Logan Hawkes March 30, 2016