Me: Hey its a cat
Friend: oh cool
Me: *makes a luring noise*
Friend: you shouldnt-
Me: *strokes cat*
Cat: *purrs* meow
Me: oh whos so cute? *looks away* *accidentally pokes cats eye* ...
Cat: *catches fire and goes into ball form with claws facing out*
Me: uhm.. *gets attacked by cat* *dies* *singed body on the ground*
Friend: i told him so...
END
Friend: oh cool
Me: *makes a luring noise*
Friend: you shouldnt-
Me: *strokes cat*
Cat: *purrs* meow
Me: oh whos so cute? *looks away* *accidentally pokes cats eye* ...
Cat: *catches fire and goes into ball form with claws facing out*
Me: uhm.. *gets attacked by cat* *dies* *singed body on the ground*
Friend: i told him so...
END
by _Better_Than_You_ August 02, 2016
Cats are medium sized, fluffy felines. Cats love to play and cuddle, but don't be fooled by their cuteness; they have razor sharp claws that can slash out your eyes. But they're still very cute.
by Cat Lover322 October 19, 2011
A furry animal that hides in the tiniest of spaces just to jump out at you and scare the hell out of you.
Martha jumped when Tard the Grumpy Cat flew out of the laundry basket. Martha hated those kinds of cats.
by Crazypersonwholovescats December 31, 2012
by salty man April 18, 2019
Depending on who you ask, they are the epitome of evil, the cutest thing alive, satan's babies, ninjas, ninja-satan-babies, those animals they don't give two cruds about, living rugs, fur with claws, claws with fur, teeth with fur and claws, teeth with claws, teeth with fur, fur with teeth, what you shouldn't step on, a catto, the stupidest things alive, the future world rulers, the things trying to kill you in your sleep, the things trying to protect you from the things trying to kill you in your sleep, aliens, carnivourous monsters, little angels, everyone's best friend, the bane of all existance, the thing that sits on you at three in the morning, or just a cat.
I am sure I have missed at least 500 other definitions of cats. Publish your own description to fill in what I missed!
I am sure I have missed at least 500 other definitions of cats. Publish your own description to fill in what I missed!
First person: There were feral cats in my backyard the other day.
Second person: Satan's fur babies!?!?!?? Where!?!?!?? * pulls out crucifix *
First person: Woah, calm down. Cats aren't satan's fur babies, they're ninjas. When you look for them, they're gone......
Second person: * muttering ancient chant to ward off evil *
Second person: Satan's fur babies!?!?!?? Where!?!?!?? * pulls out crucifix *
First person: Woah, calm down. Cats aren't satan's fur babies, they're ninjas. When you look for them, they're gone......
Second person: * muttering ancient chant to ward off evil *
by considerthefollowing June 27, 2018
A cute and cuddly friend that will comfort you and entertain you. Cats purr when happy and meow when hungry. Cats are also a mans best friend not only dogs.
by scientistandsquashplayer101 August 09, 2015
1. Noun. An small furry animal that ignores you when you want to pet it, and bothers you endlessly when you're trying to get shit done, or when it's hungry. Cats are generally even tempered and calm. They spend most of their adult life sleeping and eating. Cats require little energy, as all they ask for is a bowl of food twice a day and a warm place to sleep. You do not need to walk a cat or spend hours a day spending time with it. Cats are excellent animals for dorm or apartment life, and are perfect for people with busy lifestyles. They adapt to change quickly and require little money to keep. Cats can reduce stress levels, as there is nothing more relaxing than watching and petting a warm, sleepy cat. If you do not feed your cat too much, it will also keep your home relatively free of vermin, including mice, rats, a few roaches, moths, flies, and anything else it can catch. Be warned though, cats have a genetic attraction to computer keyboards. They will often walk around/sleep on a keyboard, and have a tendency to push the delete or backspace button (A cat once deleted half my term paper by doing this.) However, the bad behaviors of a cat are greatly outnumbered by the good. A cat will bring 5 joys for every one mad (lolspeak). Many are in need of a good home, so please go get yourself a cat.
Mike: What the hell is that?
Steve: It's my cat dude.
Mike: Really? It's so quiet, compact and warm. I like it a lot.
Steve: Yeah, ever since I got this cat ladies love me, I get better grades, and my penis is bigger.
Mike: Wow! I think I'm gonna get a cat.
Steve: Be warned though. This cat deleted my Thesis paper on the Industrial Revolution
Mike: That's okay. The good points of a cat far outweigh the bad ones.
Steve: Damn Straight.
Steve: It's my cat dude.
Mike: Really? It's so quiet, compact and warm. I like it a lot.
Steve: Yeah, ever since I got this cat ladies love me, I get better grades, and my penis is bigger.
Mike: Wow! I think I'm gonna get a cat.
Steve: Be warned though. This cat deleted my Thesis paper on the Industrial Revolution
Mike: That's okay. The good points of a cat far outweigh the bad ones.
Steve: Damn Straight.
by naylordude424 November 14, 2009