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Blandford

Man: Watch out, you just stepped on my vagina!
Man 2: Fuck off, you're such a blandford!!
by ChrisBlandford April 24, 2011
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landlord's contract

A written contract that is supposed to make a transaction look above board and official, and to suggest that the buyer has a degree of comeback, but which the party offering the document can ignore at will. As they say, it's not worth the paper it's printed on.
Dickie O'Kelly presented his tenants with the landlord's contract in connection with the quality of their accommodation, and then disappeared to South Africa with their money.
by Fearman August 10, 2007
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landlord's holiday

A break, usually involving travel abroad and of indefinite duration, so as to avoid tenant responsibilities, legal action, and so on. A time of leave for analogous purposes or of similar duration.
After taking ten million quid in cash from the public in begging letters, Karl O'Driscoll vanished on a landlord's holiday to his hidey hole in the Seychelles and lived a life of leisure.
by Fearman August 10, 2007
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fake landlord

A landlord who pumps beer as well as hot barmaids. They barmaids usually end up doing porno's after. He wants to add a taxi to his repertoire
You seen that Mark recently? Oh the fake landlord
by FakeLandlord May 15, 2018
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landlord

Chad who generously provides shelter to ungrateful rentoids who do nothing but complain, have babies they can't afford, do drugs, depreciate the value of the landchad's god-endowed property, and be late on rent despite all the welfare they get (money the government takes from landchads's hard-earned income)
Rentoid: the landlord of my property is such a jerk
Landlord on the property intercom: I can hear you from the bugs I planted in your apartment. By the way rent is going up $500 next month
by landownersunited March 16, 2022
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Landlord white

The universal paint color a landlord sprays on the walls of an apartment between tenants. Apparently blind to any of the hundreds of colors available, a landlord will universally choose “landlord white” harboring under the delusion that is what most tenants would choose if they had a choice.
Landlord: “I gave the apartment a fresh coat of paint before you move in.”
Tenant: “Let me guess: landlord white?”
by Grant Rampus November 28, 2020
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landlord

That jackass who demands to be paid at the end of the month, even if you have to sell blood and semen to get the money.
My landlord, may he rott in hell, said I should sell my kidneys for rent...
by Tornadoman July 19, 2005
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