jackin the beanstalk

pretty self explanatory. An act of jerkin it, or tuggin the bugger. Otherwise known as masturbation.

Jon: "Yo, did you do your english assignment last night?"

Me: Nah man, I was preocupied jackin the beanstalk.

Jon: You been jackin the beanstalk AGAIN?!

Me: 3 times a day bro.

by J Benj October 12, 2007

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Nigerian Beanstalk

When you poop your pants and get a boner at the same time.

Dude, when I got my Spice Girls album in the mail it totally gave me a Nigerian Beanstalk...

by MargaretBarns April 09, 2011

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Alabama Beanstalk

The sexual art of picking up your girlfriend/sister over your head, much like a giant, and bringing her back down forcefully on your knee. This act is properly done when the back is not broken, but your female partner is short of breath and gasping for air. You can make it extra fun by orally fucking her senseless as she gasps and sputters for air.

I'm still recovering from the Alabama Beanstalk that Tony gave me last night

by FingerPuncher May 29, 2017

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Jack-and-the-beanstalked

The subject must be at least 6 foot tall for this term to be used. It occurs when one male of at least 6 feet in height is dancing typical Caucasian moves with a newly acquainted female counterpart, and then an even taller male rudely jumps in between the two with spastic, over-the-top "Night At The Roxbury" moves resulting in the aforementioned male being cast aside to either the left or right of the female wondering what the fuck just happened.

This happened to me last night at a dance club and I immediately coined the phrase due to my sharp wit and ability to straight clown someone that cockblocks me.

"Dude last night I was doing The Watusi with this chica, and outta nowhere this lanky cracker 'Jack-and-the-beanstalked' me."

by DuValicious April 21, 2013

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