Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.
Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".
Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
by ???s upon ???s September 1, 2016
Get the Functional alcoholic mug.Noun 1. A person who seems addicted to behaving like an asshole. 2. An alcoholic who exhibits extreme asshole behavior.
3. Someone addicted to asses.
3. Someone addicted to asses.
"John, even at my mother's funeral, you still acted like a jerk. I swear you are an assaholic. I want a divorce!"
by funkstank June 29, 2009
Get the Assaholic mug.Related Words
Albaholic. • altaholic • Alcaholic • Alkaholic • alcoholic • assaholic • aquaholic • Alphaholic • Appaholic • Alcoholic Semen-Thrower
by Teo Cherub July 15, 2009
Get the alcoholic mug.by Mmmmmmmoooooooo December 8, 2019
Get the Apologetic Alcoholic mug.1:You play ArmA so much,you're an Armaholic. 2:If you want to download some addons for ArmA go to www.armaholic.com
by Agent07 March 31, 2010
Get the armaholic mug.When you can't attend/participate in (work) "functions" such as Happy Hour, client parties, the office holiday party, etc.
Melissa - "I'm too hung over to go to this wine tasting event tonight but the client expects someone from our office to be there."
Ann Marie - "Do you need me to be your stand-in alcoholic?"
Melissa - "WOULD YOU?! That would be such a big help."
Anna - "I already went to 3 parties this week! I can't go to anymore. I need to give my liver a rest. Do you want to be my stand-in alcoholic? There should be some cute guys there."
Ann Marie - "Sure!"
Ann Marie - "Do you need me to be your stand-in alcoholic?"
Melissa - "WOULD YOU?! That would be such a big help."
Anna - "I already went to 3 parties this week! I can't go to anymore. I need to give my liver a rest. Do you want to be my stand-in alcoholic? There should be some cute guys there."
Ann Marie - "Sure!"
by AMarie0908 December 4, 2010
Get the stand-in alcoholic mug.Joe: "Wow, James is drinking and it's only 7 AM."
Mike: "He's a high functioning alcoholic. He says he needs it to function."
Joe: "So he's a severe alcoholic who needs help then."
Mike: "He's a high functioning alcoholic. He says he needs it to function."
Joe: "So he's a severe alcoholic who needs help then."
by Super Thicc November 22, 2020
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