Access

You need to go to the bathroom.

I NEED TO GO ACCESS

by KPOPANIMEWEEB April 30, 2020

access media

1.) Corporate advertisers posing as journalists who try to pass off their reviews, commentary, and other content as unbiased reporting. So long as their coverage is positive, they are rewarded with access to things like press junket parties, film sets, celebrity interviews, and early access to things like theme park rides or video game releases.

2.) Synonym of shill.

"Hey, did you read that story on the rides at Galaxy's Edge on Collider? They totally loved Smugglers Run. I wanna go renew my Season Pass!"

"Collider? Those guys are access media. I'll wait for a review from someone who doesn't bend the knee to Emperor Mickey."

by David St.John Smythe June 5, 2019

Access To NYU

To make fun of NYU international students(mainly Chinese) that speak cracked English. It was originally from a TikTok Video that a Chinese girl tried to ask her NYU guy friend about his relationship, which begins with"How many girls have you f**ked after access to NYU? " And this video went viral after several meme bloggers reposted it.

"Brah ma labogini is so fkin cool!"
"Access to NYU?"

by FahyyygaodaNYUkid December 1, 2021

Access hole

A rip, tear, or hole in the inner thigh or crotch area of female pants, usually brought about by constant wear.

I just bought a new pair of pants and the fabric is such crap that I'm already starting to get an access hole in them!

by jeudi April 8, 2010

Access card

The State of Pennsylvania's form of a Welfare card. Naturally abused by most (not all, I'm sure a minority of those using it actually DO put it to the intended use), the Access card is a bitch for the rest of us. It always works out that some asshole on Welfare is right in front of you in the "8 Items or Less" checkout with potato chips, a case of motor oil, weave, ass loads of kool-aid, a box of rubbers (ironically), a Snickers bar, a case of toilet paper, and some milk. As if it wasn't bad enough that the ignorant bastard has more than 8 items, then they have to seperate the order into two orders...the Access order, and the <i>Pennsylvania Says 'Fuck You' Lazy Ass</i> order. So first comes the order paid in cash, which goes well. Then out comes the greenish-blue and yellow Access card! **stabs chest with car keys** So Captain 3-tooth swipes his card for the fourth time, and still a denial message. Why, you ask? Well Mr.DipShit didn't notice that he doesn't have shit on his card!!! It's over halfway through the month, what did he expect?

After holding up the checkout for 15 minutes, LaShaniqua gave up on the sixteenth swipe of her Access card and pulled out a Benjamin, got a receipt, and we all clapped.

by Josh the Expo October 20, 2006

Access to the monster

To cut the ends/tips of your pockets in your pants in order to have access to your cock. This affords you some access to your cock while in public, should you wish to masturbate. One needs only to put his hand(s) in his pocket(s) and reach in through the holes and jerk off or simply fondle oneself. This method is especially useful when one sees a sexy woman in public and does not wish to take a mental picture, right then and there, to masturbate to later. Instead, one can jerk off in this manner, right then and there, while looking at the woman in public.

Man, I saw that lady with the big tits at the store that you told me about. I was glad that I had access to the monster. My legs were all sticky after.

by R.U. Sirius August 27, 2008

access envy

Jealousy of someone's wi-fi connectivity.

FROM AT%T COMMERCIAL!! I OWN NOTHING!

guy 1:did you know that there's a zillion uses for corn?
guy 2:*searches internet* actually closer to 2500 from adhesives to sparkplugs.
guy 1:you know your high speed internet is giving me access envy!
guy 2:*from the beach*dude,just get at%t

by Bhai-Saab April 21, 2009