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monkey

slang for the male genitalia, i.e. penis, especially in context of masturbation "choke the monkey," "spank the monkey" or "beat the cheeky monkey." Also see "dirty monkey." "The dirty monkey shall have his way," means "a hard dick must be satisfied."
"Skeeter couldn't get laid so he had to spank the monkey."

"The lion (condom) broke, the monkey get choked, red, red wine." -- Red Red Wine UB40
by ANDREW OF AMERICA July 22, 2010
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monkey

Noun; A derogatory term used to describe someone having a low skill level who cannot consciously improve his or her situation no matter how much effort is put forth. A monkey can have low, medium, or high intelligence but just does not have the ability to improve in any area of life.

Not to be confused with "loser"...the "monkey" cannot improve no matter what he/she does where as a "loser" typically has potential and can consciously improve based on effort but the "monkey" is doomed as if fate is working against the monkey. Usually wanders through life with little ambition and no direction due to poor parenting or other causes and most likely groups with losers and other outcasts.

Can be found in any profession or environment but typically found playing video games (multiplayer) and will blend in readily with other video game outcasts such as noobs, campers, etc.
What did you do over the weekend ?

"I played some call of duty MW2 online and kicked a bunch of monkey ass".
by boomer323 June 23, 2010
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monkey

a smelly, hairy animal. Ugly people believe we evolved off them because the are mad couse they look like a monkey!
A baboon, the red assed monkeys that suck there thumb
by damian s November 4, 2007
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Porch Monkey

A male/female who sits aroud,who is lazy.It use to be racial but it was changed in 2006.
Amy-Hey you lazy porch monkey get up and do something!
Jimmy-Maybe tomorrow..
by Jazmine Horizon June 5, 2008
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Island Monkey

An English soccer fan that does the following: drinks large amounts of beer, gets in fights with other fans, and in general is completely out of control. They are often arrested, beated by police in riot gear, sprayed with pepper spray, set cars on fire, and sometimes get sprayed with water canons.
When they won the game, the island monkeys started setting cars on fire in the parking lot and had be sprayed with water canons by the police.
by Glenden June 15, 2010
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dumb monkey

A stupid primate who swings from trees, shoves berries up his butt, and flings his poop at people.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! the dumb monkey bit my nipple off!
by Shawn B. June 4, 2003
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Monkey fucker

A person who is employed by a zoo or research facility to pleasure various primates so sexual tension does not build up to a problematic level.
Fifi is getting horny, she keeps putting bananas inside herself. Page the monkey fucker before the zoo opens.
by theeel February 20, 2008
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