turds and breeze

"Da Talk" dat you give a coming-of-age youngster regarding da purpose and functions of da human butt-hole.

I think dat anal sex is really gross and unsanitary, so I only mention defecating and flatulence when I tell my offspring about da turds and breeze.

by QuacksO November 7, 2021

Douche and Turd philosophy

The idea that every election is between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Especially applicable to the United States.

'i believe in the Douche and Turd philosophy"
"What is that?"
"I'm voting between a giant douche and a turd sandwich!"
"That's how it always is!"

by EG FRESH November 13, 2021

El turd

El turd is that one cousin everyone has that just kinda appears how of nowhere asking you dumb questions like “do u like me” and “which cousin do you like more?”

He is an El Turd

by Happy20770 November 17, 2021

Tik Turding

The act of using Tik Tok while using the toilet. Usually for an inordinate amount of time.

"You're taking a lotta time in there...are you Tik Turding??!"

by Helopa September 18, 2021

turd grader

a small child who is a turd.
someone who is annoying.
a way to make fun of third graders.

ie: get out if my way turd grader

by notAturdGrader October 10, 2021

Late turd abortion

The act of aborting a bowel movement before full evacuation, sometimes mid-release, usually due to other obligations in one’s daily schedule. This often results in an uncomfortable turtlenecking of the rectum until defecation can be resumed.

I went to take a sh*t this morning but had to have a late turd abortion to make it to the meeting on time. Had to clench for 2 hours straight and it was unbearable. But at least my asshole will be stronger for the next one.

by OzzySnozzy October 11, 2021

swamp turd

A swamp turd is someone who is slow mentally and physically

Carol: Bob your such a swamp turd.
Bob: Oh Jesus Christ carol here we go again. Just because I have toe fungus doesn’t make me a swamp turd.
Carol:Bob your a swamp turd because you clench your butt cheeks when you run. Not because of your toe fungus

(Bob’s way of running is walking with a small skip)

by rat_excavators July 16, 2021