The Evil Purple Glaserpump, sometimes referred to as simply "The Glaserpump", is a mischievous creature who likes to sow destruction and chaos everywhere it goes.

Should any type of misfortune ever befall you or your loved ones, The Glaserpump may be the one to blame.

"I am sorry for being late to the meeting, The Evil Purple Glaserpump ate my car keys."

The Evil Purple Glaserpump by Mr_Goufball October 23, 2025

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I found a purple rock!

A cheerful non sequitur and glorious escape hatch from awkward, controversial, or brain-melting conversations. When someone exclaims, “I found a purple rock!”, they are essentially waving a shiny distraction to derail a discussion that has taken an uncomfortable, heated, or overly complicated turn. It is the verbal equivalent of changing the subject faster than you can say tax policy or crypto investing.

Use it when the conversation drifts toward politics, religion, sex, or any other topic that makes you wish you were home talking to your cat. The beauty of it? Nobody can argue with a purple rock.

Author’s Note:
Inspired by years of dodging family dinner debates and surviving small talk with strangers. Because sometimes, the only way out of a bad conversation is geological.

Example:
A: “So, how do you really feel about the election results?”
B: “I found a purple rock!”
A: “…Cool! Where?”

Example:
A: “So how’s your love life going?”
B: “I found a purple rock!”

I found a purple rock! by Thejocdoc November 7, 2025

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.0.I Do Not Have The Color Blue Purple Blue On Me My Person I.0.

.0.I Do Not Have The Color Blue Purple Blue On Me My Person I.0. by 9962 October 29, 2025

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perplexcuse

An excuse so confusing the listener becomes exasperated and relents against own better judgement

How did you manage to avoid being grounded? I gave my mom a top 10 perplexcuse. She is still shaking her head...

perplexcuse by mcgobri April 29, 2015

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