not today you turd

A saying you say to someone you really really hate.

"Not today you turd, lol."

by That_one_weabo May 24, 2018

turd cutter

A pair of women’s jeans which cut so high into her ass crack they would cut a turd in two if she let one go

Look at the turd cutters on that girl!

by Alex J September 27, 2023

Splurge Turded

When you’re going number 2 and you can’t stop pooping.

Man, I just splurge turded so much in that bathroom, it wouldn’t stop!

by Weird mind person January 26, 2019

Soft as a pensioner's turd

When someone's actions are that soft that a pensioner's soft/runny stool holds more merit then their character and actions.

Worker A: Did you see old mate couldn't even lift a sandbag.

Worker B: Don't worry that cunt is as soft as a pensioner's turd, I have lost all hope with them.

by Billy Hunt (aka silly cunt) January 2, 2021

Turd Bitch

An obnoxious, inconsiderate person who acts self riotous, but one that also smells like fecal matter or is dirtier than normal.

That guy is a real turd bitch. He never picks up after himself, talks way too much, and thinks he knows everything.

by Cowboy77 January 8, 2024

scooter turd

It a rare disease

Sorry I h-have a s-scooter turd

by Afriendofajanobo December 30, 2018

Turd Burgling

When you unexpectedly give someone laxatives, and they unwillingly vacate their bowels, that is what we like to call "turd burgling".

Last night was insane; we were turd burgling like some 'shit witches' last night.

by Doctor_Ew August 29, 2017