masturbation

1. America's number one past-time.
2. Reasons why many kittens die.

1.
Dude 1: "Dude you wanna go party or something?"
Dude 2: "Nah... I'm gonna participate in the great American past-time."
Dude 1: "Ahh... masturbation."

2.
Dude 1: "Dude that kitten just died."
Dude 2: "Ahh shit, I shouldn't have masturbated last night."

by thewhorewhoisjerome August 4, 2007

Masterbation

We're a male or a female pleasures them self's in a sex like motion

I am a masterbation expert

by Glittergal_197 October 6, 2017

masturbationpiece

A specific collage of porn images and video which are perfectly arranged on one or more computer screens in order to achieve masturbatory perfection.

My most recent creation had two looped video clips and four different images on two monitors. Each video was centered on its own monitor and was bordered by two images. Clips were edited to eliminate all chances of a misfire, and images were cropped to remove any useless sections. It was a dual monitor full screen utilization Masturbationpiece.

by Smith Master February 23, 2011

masterbating with a cheese grater

Doing a task that is not a good idea

Moving this piano without help is like masterbating with a cheese grater.

by matt1975 September 10, 2012

Mutual Masturbation

What you and your girlfriend did as kids when you took a pledge to the church, and then told your pastor you've never had sex with each other. Cause technically you didn't.

When kim and david were on the bed at night watching TV, they got horny. But they remembered their pledges. So they just took of their pants and underwear and had mutual masturbation then told their pastor they've never had sex.

by Raw Doggy April 7, 2010

angry masturbation

The act of pleasuring one's self while under a great deal of stress,angst,anger, or general hostility. Often leaves the genital areas red and sore for a period of twenty-four hours. Other side effects may be painful.

mr hughes, school administrator (during the act); "God damn kids Rawrrrr I'm rubbing my cock so hard Rahh I Hate Hartland Rahh MYSPACE Rahh"

-or-

After that fight with my girlfriend, i performed some hardcore angry masturbation....that bitch...

by dantrick June 20, 2006

musical masturbation

Music that has no emotion or musical value and is created to embody and amplify the characteristics of a certain style.

In other words, music that puts technicality, brutality, speed, and complication over the quality and the emotion put into the music.

Examples:

A Power Metal band that musically masturbates will fit as many notes as possible into their riffs and solos. Resulting in a boring rushed song.

A Tech Death band that musically masturbates will also fit as many notes as possible into their riffs, and they will usually palm mute the whole thing and make the riff as hard to play as they can. The drummer will hit the bass drum with a double bass pedal as fast as they can. Resulting in crap.

A Prog Metal band that musically masturbates will create songs as long as possible with as many different riffs as they can make. Often creating boring songs.

The guitar work of some shredders has been labeled as musical masturbation.

by joe725 May 22, 2008