jared

a stupid fucker who can't even get dressed in the morning.
he likes hitting on married women and invariably gets beaten by their husbands.
he is usually retarded and likes literally eating shit.

that man just beat his wife's jared.

by gerard_capshen123 November 23, 2013

jared

someone who has achieved the mastery of gayness

someone you would stride to be gay

a manifestation of homoseaxuallity

basically the gay-est nigga God could create

I took jared's girlfriend ... oh well

My wife is hates jared and things he is a homophobic nigger

by jared gasmena December 6, 2017

jared

100% of the time it’s a dude with the smallest penis in the classroom. he can never make anyone laugh and he’s just stupid.

ha did you see jared’s tiny penis when he got exposed

by coopscoop14 October 8, 2018

Jared, 19

a reference to the vine that goes "waddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read" by josh kennedy. if you see this in a comment, basically they are saying they wish they never read whatever was on the post, or that they wish they couldn't read.

it's posts like these that make me wish i was jared, 19

by hecking September 15, 2018

Jared Baird

a guy who says 'yeet' too much

go subscribe to Jared Baird's YouTube!

by norah hehe July 30, 2016

Jared Kleinman

The real star of Dear Evan Hansen. He eats bathbombs (lov the cronch)

"You know that guy in our school, Jared Kleinman?"
"Yea, the insanely cool Jared Kleinman!!"

by Non-Billyver July 17, 2018

Jared Kleinman

The coolest person you will ever meet. He is sarcastic and chill to hide his awkwardness and the fact that he feels as alone as Evan Hansen. Once you get him to open up, however, he is super awesome and hilarious. You’ll always have a great time with Jared Kleinman.

That guy from our school...
Jared Kleinman?
Yes, the insanely cool Jared Kleinman!
-Sincerely Me Reprise

by magicsnowman29 July 16, 2018