jesus take me to the playoffs

When you can’t make the playoffs in madden so you ask Jesus to take you to the playofffs after Jesus floats magesticly down naked and says “if you want to be taken to the play offs the play offs gotta be taken to you” and then you say ok Jesus do what you gotta do and then he says “ good cause I’m gonna FUCK YOU LIKE I FUCKED THAT PIG” *looks at pig * “oh my god it’s in half was it like that when you fucked it” Jesus says “no” then you ask “how long is it” then Jesus responds in a soft soothing voice “ longer than the pig”

I screamed jesus take me to the playoffs and then Jesus floated down and fucked me with a cock longer than a pig

by Long john slider October 17, 2017

Taking the lizard out for a walk

To masturbate; jerking it

Sebastian: "Hey Andrew, you wanna hang tonight?"

Andrew: "Nah man, I'm taking the lizard out for a walk rn, some other time"

by NotShadogun August 23, 2019

take a hit make a play

absorbing a minor setback to make a major comeback

commonly used in hockey

Aye bro i’m still on delivered.
No worries, take a hit make a play- we’re going out tonight.

by dryrock0 October 13, 2022

take your wig off

Stop lying, stop hiding thing

I didn’t know dating his friend would cause so much drama. Girl take your wig off!

by BossBur September 22, 2018

Are you taking job applications

Something you say to companies when you are looking for a job and wish to apply.

'Are you taking job applications?' He said, with his resume in his hands.

by derulais July 24, 2022

Take your body off

When someone is just acting up. You got to tell them to chill! Take your body off man

Jeffery, you need to stop man, take your body off!!

by Magic4med July 15, 2016

i cant take it anymore

µms

i cant take it anymore

by RedIsSoSus November 20, 2022