Murphy's Pedestrian-Perks Law

Refers to the infuriatingly-common "lousy timing" occurrence of your seldom encountering the usually-hoped-for opportunities/pleasantries (i.e., neighbors relaxing on their front porches/lawns whom you can shoot the breeze with on your way by, pretty girls to hold hands with and "chat up for a few", sizable numbers of discarded returnable containers, etc.) whenever you're out for a stroll or otherwise leisurely traipsing around your local area on foot, yet when you either hitch a ride with someone or are "a man on a mission" in your own vehicle and thus you can't "acceptably" stop to avail yourself of any of these assorted "sidewalk delights", the roadsides you travel along will either be "chock-full of friendlies" or "Bottle/Can City", and so you'll be mentally "climbin' da walls" at having to agonizingly pass on by all of those much-desired goodies.

It was foggy and chilly when I started out walking around town to complete my weekly errands-list, and so there was hardly another soul outdoors, but then sometime later when I was riding back again with a neighbor who'd offered me a lift home, the weather turned clear and balmy again, and there were lots of smiley-faced sundress-clad cuties strolling the walks all over town! Guess it was Murphy's Pedestrian-Perks Law at work!

by QuacksO July 21, 2018

First law of the Soviet equation

The 'First law of the Soviet equation' applies to the longest math equations, those that make you wanna puke just from looking at it length.
'When the equation looks very complicated, boring and long, there's high probability of the answer being (0) or (1).'

A: As soon as I saw the math homework for today, I instantly gave up and didn't even try to solve those equations.
B: Man, you just had to apply the 'First law of the Soviet equation' to complete it all.

by ibhulukwe October 26, 2017

Murphy's Law of Checkout-Lines

"If you aren't in a hurry to leave the store, there will be little or no delay in getting a clerk to ring you up. But if you're pressed for time --- or even more so, if you're car-pooling with someone who is on a tight schedule --- THAT'S when there will be hold-ups galore... a long line in front of you, a customer with one or more heaped-full shopping-carts, one or more price-discrepancies that hafta be tediously resolved (i.e., the puzzled clerk is obliged to walk back with you to the shelf to look at the price-labels, a supervisor or the store-manager has to be called over), a balky card-scanner, etc."

Whenever someone who's giving me a ride is kind enough to let me stop at a store to grab a few items, I always try to make very sure that I have everything all "set and prepared" before I head to the register, so that I personally seldom create a problem (i.e., cause any delays myself with issues like not having the proper payment ready or being unsure of a price or quantity) with Murphy's Law of Checkout-Lines. That way, even if my driver has to wait linger than expected for me to hastily scamper back outside with my loaded shopping-bags, he won't be able to direct his impatient frustration at me --- "Sorry for the delay; I did indeed get everything tossed in my cart very quickly, but there was a long line in front of me, and they were short-staffed today, so they only had once register open."

by QuacksO October 31, 2019

Your in-laws are coming to stay

Some of the worst news one can get. Literally makes you dread it for months.

Boss: You’re fired
Me: Damn
Bank: Your bank account has been frozen

Me: Shit!
Sister: hey did your wife tell you that your in-laws are coming to stay?
Me: NOOOOOO!!!!!

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx November 13, 2020

International Break the Law Day

April 11th is international break the law day. On this day you are supposed to post a picture of you breaking the law on Social Media or post a photo of an illegal item in your possession.

“It’s international break the law day! Everyone post pictures of your illegal guns!”

by LobsterMaster April 11, 2021

half-co-aunt-in-law

Spouse's half-pibling's wife.

My half-co-aunt-in-law is a good person.

by Wonbig October 13, 2021

half-co-sister-in-law

Spouse's half-sibling's wife.

My half-co-sister-in-law is a good person.

by Wonbig October 13, 2021