108 definitions by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx
One who lets sensitivity, going with the crowd, and utopian thinking get in the way of common sense. Democrats are the worst of two evils. They believe in socialism, cracking down on free speech with hate speech laws, recognizing the ridiculous and unscientific concept of third genders, and refuse to recognize that unborn children are still children
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx February 5, 2021
When a prisoner is sentenced to spend the rest of their life in prison. A very useless sentence, because once a prisoner gets it, they might as well have the death penalty. Either way they're going to die in prison. There are three types of life sentences.
Life With Parole:
When the prisoner gets sentenced to life, but is eligible for parole release after a certain number of years (usually 25 years). This is the most common sentence, as it ensures the prisoner will have an incentive to behave in prison, and it allows them back into society on strict monitoring. It's not a guarantee, to earn parole, you must behave very well in prison and show that you're worthy of being released.
Life Without Parole:
Life Imprisonment with no parole eligibility. If you get this, you're spending the rest of your days behind bars no matter what, unless you get the governor of your state to grant you clemency. This is hard to do, and the fact that you're likely a murderer isn't going to earn you much sympathy. But, if you truly can convince the governor you've changed, it might be worth a shot.
Practical Life Sentence
Any sentence that is longer than the prisoner will likely live. Generally, sentences higher than 75 years in prison fit this category, as even a young adult likely won't live to see their release date. These are handed out usually when a person has many crimes stacked against them, with no single one worthy of a life sentence, but adding up to like 100 years.
Life With Parole:
When the prisoner gets sentenced to life, but is eligible for parole release after a certain number of years (usually 25 years). This is the most common sentence, as it ensures the prisoner will have an incentive to behave in prison, and it allows them back into society on strict monitoring. It's not a guarantee, to earn parole, you must behave very well in prison and show that you're worthy of being released.
Life Without Parole:
Life Imprisonment with no parole eligibility. If you get this, you're spending the rest of your days behind bars no matter what, unless you get the governor of your state to grant you clemency. This is hard to do, and the fact that you're likely a murderer isn't going to earn you much sympathy. But, if you truly can convince the governor you've changed, it might be worth a shot.
Practical Life Sentence
Any sentence that is longer than the prisoner will likely live. Generally, sentences higher than 75 years in prison fit this category, as even a young adult likely won't live to see their release date. These are handed out usually when a person has many crimes stacked against them, with no single one worthy of a life sentence, but adding up to like 100 years.
Two US states have Abolished Life Imprisonment.
Alaska, which still hands out the practical life sentence of 99 years in prison
Connecticut, which has lowered its maximum prison term from life to 25 years.
Also, some states have abolished life without parole, but still hand out life sentences with parole eligibility. These are:
Rhode Island
New York
Illinois
Washington
Alaska, which still hands out the practical life sentence of 99 years in prison
Connecticut, which has lowered its maximum prison term from life to 25 years.
Also, some states have abolished life without parole, but still hand out life sentences with parole eligibility. These are:
Rhode Island
New York
Illinois
Washington
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx June 10, 2020
Boss: You’re fired
Me: Damn
Bank: Your bank account has been frozen
Me: Shit!
Sister: hey did your wife tell you that your in-laws are coming to stay?
Me: NOOOOOO!!!!!
Me: Damn
Bank: Your bank account has been frozen
Me: Shit!
Sister: hey did your wife tell you that your in-laws are coming to stay?
Me: NOOOOOO!!!!!
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx November 14, 2020
When you shit your pants and finally make it to the bathroom, only to realize the shit never made it to your underwear because your ass cheeks held it in. It’s a great feeling of relief because you don’t have to throw out your underwear or clean off the shit smeared all over your ass.
Me: Fuck I sharted
Me 5 min later: Yes! I love hitting the lottery, now I don’t have to wipe shit off my legs!
Me 5 min later: Yes! I love hitting the lottery, now I don’t have to wipe shit off my legs!
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx July 4, 2020
I am a medic and every two years I have to get recertified. It's an unnecessary pain in the ass, because I have to file about 10 million papers and every two years they change it, and it's pointless anyways because I'm obviously not going to suddenly forget how to do my job.
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx November 16, 2021
When one of the spouses gets a little too bored of their significant other, and their eyes start to wander.
Billy: "How could she DO this to me? How could she be with another man behind my back?!"
Jake: "But dude, don't you also have an Extramarital affair?"
Billy: "SHUT UP! That's not the point!"
Jake: "But dude, don't you also have an Extramarital affair?"
Billy: "SHUT UP! That's not the point!"
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx June 10, 2020
A deliberate act designed to scare, annoy, harm, or kill someone, that is executed in a way that appears to be an accident and thus the person who committed the act ideally gets away with it.
An example: Johnny really hates his wife. She's the worst thing that ever happened to him. He wishes she could die. But he doesn't want to go through the divorce process. So Johnny waits for his wife to be at the top of the stairs, and when she is, he lifts her up and tosses her headfirst down the stairs. She passes away. Emergency services show up and she is pronounced dead. No one ever suspects Johnny murdered her, and even if they do, it's impossible to prove it. Johnny gets away with it and marries his mistress.
An example: Johnny really hates his wife. She's the worst thing that ever happened to him. He wishes she could die. But he doesn't want to go through the divorce process. So Johnny waits for his wife to be at the top of the stairs, and when she is, he lifts her up and tosses her headfirst down the stairs. She passes away. Emergency services show up and she is pronounced dead. No one ever suspects Johnny murdered her, and even if they do, it's impossible to prove it. Johnny gets away with it and marries his mistress.
Because of these "faked accidents", murder rates are higher than officially counted. Countless people get away with murder and other crimes and they walk among us, completely unsuspected. Drew Peterson, a cop from Illinois, is a great example. He got away with drowning his wife in a bathtub until her body was reexamined 5 years later.
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx October 14, 2020