Someone with a justified and well-founded fear of
homophones.
Homophones are those words which sound the same but mean something completely different, so that no one has any idea which witch is which. They're harmful. They're subversive. They have no place in our good,
respectable community.
I lost a good buddy at the hands of those evil
homophones. They mistakenly got into a vehicle with a reckless driver instead of a wreckless driver. They sound the same but the meaning of the words is completely opposite.
That's why I and my redneck, homophobe buddies are going to clean up this community and run all of the
homophones out of town. YEE-HAW! I'm gonna put some more notches in my commie ridder!
After all, the
consequences of not knowing whether that "fanny pack" or "bum bag" is a "waist bag" or a "waste bag" get really messy and disgusting. We're not having that in this corn patch, no siree Bob.