Computer Shocker

The act of putting three thumb "flash"drives into three USB ports in one computer. Taken from the orginal shocker, "Three in the USB"!
Hey here is my thumb drive, can you download that paper for me? Sorry man ran out of USB ports! Oh damm, your USB ports are getting plugged up by the COMPUTER SHOCKER!!!
by JDJ55 December 08, 2010
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Wooden Computer

When a persons computer loads so slowly in a game that his computer is said to be made from a substance uncapable of conducting electricity such as wood.

the substance can also be substituted with another substance more cheap then wood eg. african mud bricks

originates from computer games with servers where players must wait for everyone to connect before the game can start. the player who loads last is said to have a wooden computer.
*everyones loaded except dave*

nerd 1 : wow dave as such a wooden computer

nerd 2 : yea totally made from 100 year old wood from africa
by skuxx :D May 17, 2011
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Computer guy

The go to guy for all of your computer repair needs. You all know him in a way. Sitting in your class with a laptop running some weird OS you don't recognize, always speaking more in technical terminology and numbers than plain English. Often quiet and somewhat introverted, the computer guy is always willing to lend a helping hand to someone in dire technological straits. Often more friendly and less odorous than other varieties of his kind such as the computer nerd or Linux fanatic.
Distraught student: Ah man, I think my computer ate my report!
Friend: No sweat, go talk to computer guy. I think he lives on second floor of the next hall.
by M.C. HARDDrive October 23, 2008
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Computer Virus

1.) Any program on your computer that reproduces its code
2.) Any program on your computer that completely fucks it up and disables its ability to work properly
3.) A said program that you probably got when you opened an e-mail you didn't know who it was from or downloaded something that you didn't know what it was
4.) Windows
Person 1: My computer keeps crashing, I think it has a virus.
Person 2: Did you open any emails you recieved from a stranger?
1: No.
2: Did you download any strange files?
1: No.
2: Are you running Windows?
1: Yes.
by Definition DemonX October 10, 2004
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Dell Computers

Piece of shit computers. I can shit computers better than those. Theses unsuspecting people see the ads of the stupid little pot head screamin DUDE UR GETTIN A DELL and get drawn to it. They shit the bed after like 4 months than u call there high quality support and stay on the phone with some dickhead hoo rambles for 4 hours about the wrong thig
Johnny: Watta u doin?
Jimmy: Im playin on my four month old dell.
CRASH
Johnny: Dude ur computer jus crashed.
Jimmy: No prob ill call their great support.
4 hous later......
Support man: CHING CHONG CHO ME CHIN LALALALALALA
Jimmy: Fuck u im getting a Compaq
by Carlos September 24, 2004
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Computer Herpes

Any program (virus, or even an anti-virus program) that you cannot get off of your computer.
I installed Norton a few years ago, but now that I'm trying to delete it, I've found I have a serious case of computer herpes.
by theboxinthecorner March 08, 2012
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computer hypochondria

While hypochondria is the fear of doing anything without getting a fatal injury/illness, computer hypochondria is the fear of downloading anything, no matter how verified the download is, in fear that it will screw up your computer in some way or another.
I'd download this .exe file, but I don't want to get a BSoD.

Dude, you have some bad computer hypochondria.
by Christophucked March 11, 2011
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