buttery crumpet

When you slab that butter on the crumpet and it melts all the way through to the plate.

That was such a buttery crumpet I licked the plate afterwards.

by anonymous August 18, 2022

Donald Crumpet

Any depressing fact about Donald Trump that you must digest.

How many Donald Crumpets are in one newspaper?

by Ereck Flowers October 23, 2018

Bum Crumpets

Larger than standard dry poo chunks that stick to your anus hairs when you do not wipe properly

My arse is full of bum crumpets because the toilet paper was like tracing paper and i was too scared to wipe properly

by SQUEELYBUM May 27, 2017

Protest Crumpet

Typically a late night snack undertaken just because you can and to no one is around to stop you. Alternatively it may refer to your partner refusing a Buttered Crumpet.

Just got warm in bed when I needed to wee so went to make a hot water bottle because I was freezing and now made Protest Crumpets because I needed them for the affront of standing in the cold kitchen.

by Myersrum February 15, 2022

crumpet

someone who shits so fucking much

sorry dude one second, i gotta go crumpet.

by neuqxss February 23, 2022

Crumpet snatcher

An extremely offensive British offensive, meaning to steal ones freshly buttered crumpets

"Did you steal my tea?" You're such a crumpet snatcher!"

by Yllom.gollom October 4, 2016

Crumpet stuffer

A derogatory term used to describe the British and their obsession with tea and crumpets.

American: "Here comes the Crumpet stuffer!"

by He8i3 May 4, 2022