Birth Control Shirt

This is a shirt my first husband got second hand and I could tell why. As soon as he put that shirt on, it looked so bad that I was forced to shut my eyes because it was emotionally traumatizing to look at it. The combination of print, pattern and color produced such a cataclysm of visual assault that I needed six months of therapy to deal with it. It is the equivalent of seeing your loved one wearing a Jason from Halloween mask, which is almost as scary.

When my husband wore the birth control shirt, I knew that there would be no chance of him cheating on me. I was surprised it didn't render him sterile. It was one ugly-ass unflattering shirt. I threw it away and he divorced me anyway.

by MadamexXx March 13, 2009

Facebook Birthday

It's your birthday and everyone writes on your wall. Even people you never talk to or met on some kind of trip.

1. Today was my birthday and I got many birthday wishes, even from some ninth grader who I've only spoken to once.

2. (It's your Facebook Birthday) Tim Flarigan: Happy Birthday!
You: Who the f*** are you?!?!?

by 00Hes February 6, 2010

birth it

To deliver something, or to just do it. Also can mean “Pass it here.”

You want a CapriSun?

Birth it my way!

by JustBirthItMelanie November 5, 2018

champagne birthday

Another term for a "golden birthday" which means you turn the same age as the day you were born.

It's Shelly's champagne birthday..she turned 19 on the 19th of May!

by Kaylalala17 April 18, 2008

give birth to a politician

To excrete solid bodily waste; to take a shit. The implication that the average politician is a(greedy, corrupt, duplicitous)piece of shit(which is true, in most cases).

"I'll be right back; I gotta go give birth to a politician."

by Jeff Wagenhals July 13, 2007

birthday

the day signifying that you're another year closer to your eventual and innevitable decay.

Fuck, its my birthday.

by yournamecantbeblank February 25, 2009

Birthday Princess

Girls who place their birthdays as the most important day of the year not only for themselves, but also for everyone they know. They expect all their friends, family, and acquaintances to drop whatever they are doing in order to make her birthday the best day of her life. Every year. Usually applies to spoiled bitches a.k.a. birthday bitch.

Victoria: OMFG. Why can't you come to my birthday?
Charles: I'm sorry, but I have to attend my sister's wedding.
Victoria: WTF. You asshole. How is that more important than my birthday?
Charles: Bitch, stop being such a birthday princess.

by roflwaffle. November 12, 2009