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Who Would Jesus Bomb? 

A phrase most often seen on bumper stickers and t-shirts, it is a variation of the often heard "What Would Jesus Do?" slogan.

The phrase points out the obvious hypocrisy of Christians who support wars, particularly those wars that bomb innocent civilians and create a great deal of collateral damage.

The logic works as follows;
1) Jesus was a pacifist, and taught his followers to be as such. ("turn the other cheek," "love thy enemy," etc.)
2)Christians live by the teachings of Christ.
3)Many, though not all, Christians are the first to support the invasion of other countries, and are, therefore, not acting in a pacifist manner.
4)These Christians are in direct contradiction of the teaching's of Jesus.
5)These Christians (the war mongering Christians) are hypocrites.

In a word, the rejection of war-mongering Christian Conservatism.
Pat Robertson is driving behind a hippie, and see's a bumper sticking asking, "Who Would Jesus Bomb?" Mr. Robertson immediately realizes that he has been in contradiction of his most profound religious beliefs (Christianity) and drives into a wall in shame.
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She crept up behind me and scared the B'jesus out of me.
B'jesus by black flag May 31, 2004

Cockblocked by Jesus 

When an attractive girl will not date you because you think that Christianity is hogwash.
Girl: Sorry but I want a relationship that is sanctioned by the Almighty God.

Friend: ooooh boy, you just got cockblocked by Jesus
Cockblocked by Jesus by bombus August 18, 2010

sexy Jesus 

He died for our sins, you gotta believe us.
Coined by Dana Marschz in his production of Hamlet 2.
Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus.
sexy Jesus by Danny Zeff July 6, 2009

come to jesus 

Getting called on the carpet, dressed down, or otherwise chewed out in a severe manner. Usually used in conjunction with "meetin'" (meeting)
He was late one too many times, so the old man dragged him in the office for a "come to jesus meetin'".
come to jesus by Big Bob July 28, 2004

nuke gay whales for jesus 

A catch phrase designed specifically to offend everybody in the room.
The party had way too many stuffy arrogant bastards and besides it was time to leave, so I ripped off a few nuke gay whales for jesus rants and showed myself to the door.

Filthy Jesus 

A sex fetish that involves one participant to be tied up on a crucifix to resemble Jesus Christ. After this is done, multiple partners defficate and urinate on this person.
I'm really in the mood to do a Filthy Jesus tonight, let's call kevin.
Filthy Jesus by Iplaymallets January 14, 2009