Splatty Matty

Splatty Matty is an entity and a force of nature that everyone fears. It strikes fear into the hearts of all mortal men/women. Hanging out behind the dumpsters of almost any liquor or beer store it can find he tries to entice minors into doing sexual favours for the purchase of alcohol. No sexual act is too disgusting or depraved for Splatty Matty. Even incest with his own mother. There have been many imitation Splatty Mattys but the true Splatty Matty can not be replaced. If you encounter Splatty Matty there is nothing you can do but give up all hope. He will terrorize you even in your dreams. Which he quickly turns to nightmares with his callous disregard for sexual harassment, his disgusting sexual advancements, his lack of discrimination on his targets, and the fact that he talks in the third person. You can try running but the Splatty Matty always gets what he wants.....

Emerges from behind dumpster-“Hey there kids! You lookin to get some wobbly pops?!? Well Splatty Matty would love to help you get that sweet liquid courage nectar for ya..... but first you have to swallow all of Splatty Mattys sweet sweet nectar uhhh yeahhh huhuhuh......”

by Booridley March 10, 2020

missing matty hours

when you miss matty because he is perfect and the best boyfriend ever. at this time you just want to hug him, cuddle him, hold his hand, and kiss him. he makes you the happiest ever, gives you endless butterflies, and can put a smile on ur face in an instant. this can occur at any time.

“Oh it’s 3am and I could be cuddling Matty right now, I guess it’s missing Matty hours.”

by shmoneyybunnyy March 26, 2020

Fatty Matty Poem

Fatty Matty 😊

Fatty Matty has a wrinkly dog
fatty Matty doesn’t stop eating hot dogs

Fatty Matty has no balls
and he’s so fat he has to crawl

Fatty Matty wanks off chicks

he defo has a small inverted dick

~ Kloe *****
Type a message...

The beautiful Fatty Matty Poem was created by Kloe ***** when she got called a cancer patient.

by klutzygaylea July 13, 2020

brother mattes's belt buckle

Small brown penis flopped over the belt

Have you seen Brother Mattes's belt buckle?

by Master PK August 31, 2023

National Bully Matty Day

Today is the day to bully Matty. All people should have a free pass to bully anyone named Matty.

Hey it's National Bully Matty day! We can finally bully Matty, she's so fucking unfunny!

by swaggotlucia February 6, 2021

mattisen

A mattisen is a type of drink. Usually very fruity, but can be spiked to liven up the party. This drink is bubbley, delicious, but does not have a very good after taste. But most love it, mainly because it is addictive.

"Taste this mattisen it is so good."

by HeatherRoseJillian December 2, 2009

Mattes

A mysterious mixture of urine and semen stains on the front of soiled underwear, brought on by being over stimulated whilst watching cartoons. Curiously smells like fish

Dude, is that a mattes on your pants

by Chappy of the Rocks April 16, 2009